118: 34 Things To Know About People & Get Engaged II – Tony Martignetti Nonprofit Radio

Tony’s guests this week:

Andrea Nierenberg, president of Nierenberg Consulting Group

Amy Sample Ward, membership director for NTEN and blogger at Stanford Social Innovation Review

Read and watch more on Tony’s blog: http://tonymartignetti.com

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Durney welcome to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent it’s november sixteenth i’m your aptly named host and we’re talking about big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. I felt so important so strongly about that that it was necessary to say it twice in fifteen seconds. Oh, how i hope you were with me last week. I’d be mortified to learn that you had missed, as you help the next generation of social changers. Jonathan lewis is a founder of ion poverty, and he produces career advice videos with leaders in non-profit social change, his videos air free, short and valuable. As you lied and mentor twentysomethings who want to make a difference in the world, we listen to some of his clips from mentoring for dummies and shut the hell up. Also public info on private companies. Maria semple, the prospect finder and our monthly prospect research contributor, was back this time with free and low cost ways to get information on your prospects privately held companies, she explained that the companies might be small, so relationships are as important as data. Of course, maria is our doi n of dirt cheap and free resource is this week thirty four things to know about people andrea nierenberg, president of nuremberg consulting group, returns because she had so much simple and valuable relationship building advice spilling out of her on october fifth. I invited her back, and this week she’s got thirty four things to know and how to learn them, how to preserve them and what to do with them. Also get engaged, too. Amy sample ward, our social media scientists will be here, she continues. Our siri’s on real engagement and building trust through the social networks last month was setting the tone this month. It’s your call to action amy’s, membership director for non-profit technology network and ten, and she blog’s for the stanford social innovation review. Right now we used to take a break, but now we don’t take a break anymore because we heard you about there being too many breaks, so we shortened the brakes and reduce the number of brakes so don’tjust think we only shorten the brakes. We did two things, we shorten the brakes and reduce the number of brakes, and right now i’m squandering the time that used to be in. A break. So i’m not going to squander it any longer. I’m going to introduce andrea nierenberg. She is the president of nierenberg consulting group, which you’ll find at nierenberg group dot com that’s an e r e n b e r g and the wall street journal has called andrea a networking success story. What do they know? Her books include non stop networking, million dollar networking savvy networking. Lots of networking. She’s working on one sheet. She’s networking on no she’s working on a book for veterans networking. We’ll talk a little about that. I hope she has a background in corporate marketing with companies like avon fashions, saks fifth of and macmillan publications. And i’m very pleased that her relationship building expertise brings her back to the studio. Every welcome. Thank you for having me, tony it’s. My pleasure having you back having you back. Thank you so much. Um, let’s. See, you have ah, thirty four things to know about people on dh. But you have a critical five. So this is all about relationship building. Exactly. Why? Why do you want before we get to the critical five and thirty four remaining after that, which? Would be the other twenty nine what? Why did you compile this list? What i did was people want always build relationships with each other, and the more you know about somebody and sincerely and authentically interested in them, you build a relationship, so this list could even grow further than thirty for not that we’re going to go through each of the topics, but it’s, it’s things that you learn about people as you get to know them as you asked questions as you do, you research so as you’re having a conversation with them, it just builds and the conversation develops genuine interest, genuine esther, but so in a month, this show may be out of date. This could be a list of forty, forty six things by next by next month could bay, so the show is already it could even be out of date by time podcast listeners listen well, today’s november sixteenth and there are thirty four things on angie’s list, which i believe you’re going to post on our facebook page. Exactly, and arlington group also give us a link on both of those okay, you have critical five things which people now people? May think these air just, you know, what’s the phrase i’m looking for, they’re just so ordinary and they’re right on basic. But so why? Why do we list them? Why? Because very often, when you need them, you can’t find them. Like somebody says, i forgot the person’s assistant’s name. I forgot their phone number off about their company where they work now. So i always just say, like anything, just detail it, put it down somewhere. We’re going to find it right in front of you. Okay, so what are the critical five? Simple. Your name, right? That’s the word i was looking for. Simple, simple for the words. Simple, simple. Their name and correct spelling of their name. That’s. A big thing of it is for me now it’s for everybody, buddy there’s a before the end. Absolutely. But notice on your little nucci xero tony m so you know about this, but no, i didn’t. I would have to go back. But i know that’s. Why i make sure that’s why? But even for a name like rick, people think it’s r i c k not necessarily our i c or john it’s a big one. J o h n i know many joo ends, so i’m just saying, make sure you have that the company and the firm name, you know, and the small things are important right now. Wouldn’t you rather address an email or especially a hand written note, but even an email, wouldn’t you rather include the h in the john’s name that has an h leave it out? It’s a little embarrassing, it is usually the person doesn’t read below that if you spelled their name incorrectly you think so? I know so from direct marketing days, the old days of direct marketing, okay, which is now the internet it’s really on steroids, which is direct marketing exactly, but it’s all of that, but of course so having that your fingertips and have this in a template where you can actually go back and refer to it, look it up at all times their phones, they’re comb, phone their company phone number if they give you their home phone number and their cell number great things, i mean, getting basic things, but things that if we don’t have we go crazy saying, why don’t i have that? I need to get in touch with tony em. Right, for example, exactly annual. And you want it all in one place? Yes. And they were going kruckel and their assistants name zsystems name is good, right? And you know just that your blank lines and the mailing address if they give it to you if they have a mailing address. Because i’m a huge believer still of the handwritten personal note, the forty five cent investment plan. When you were here on october fifth, we talked about the value of handwritten notes and how rare they are exactly like people. You can go back and listen. October fifth, your address since the self. Okay. Already simple. The basics. Right? That’s. Why we call it the critical five. Okay, there are critical. I got to send them live listener love before we continue commerce texas cool asheville, north carolina welcome live listener love to texas in north carolina to get started. Um, before we go deeper into the relationship with the other twenty nine, for now for now, altum how do we get teo? How do we compile this information? I don’t want to just be standing with the checklist, and i know now. The questionnaire in front of people, what i’ve done is i’ve taken my template, and i’ve told people, whatever your system is, how you, you know, taking all your intelligence information is having somewhere like in the name and address, you know, the area like your database, whatever you use, and then i just take this template and i pasted in, and then i just every time i learned something new about that person, i just put it right in there so it’s right there at my fingertips now there’s so many different software programs out there there’s, salesforce, there’s everything that actually does a lot of combining and everything like that, you could do it on microsoft outlook to i just like to have it in one place also in front of me, okay? And do you have a preferred a database that you that you particularly like, you know, recommend i use good old microsoft outlook because, again, it lets me add different fields. But then in the note’s part, i just paste this in and keep changing it. I’ve told this to many people where i’ve worked before, i say modified the list too, and then sometimes people will send me a new topic to know about people, so i’ll add it would be thirty five, okay, it’ll be thirty five much too soon. This show’s going to the show is already out of date. I feel like i feel like by the time we finished the interviews, we’re going toe and you’re going to have three e mails and it’s going to thirty seven. But we’re only gonna have thirty for in front of us. All right, but she’ll keep it up to date. Yeah. Okay. So let’s, let’s, dig a little deeper. You have a new interesting one to me that i so shows all about me. Of course. So that’s, where we start thie anniversary of doing business together. That’s a cool one. What do you like to do? What do you like to know? What? Why do you know? Like to know that because it’s a great way, then, to send a note or a gift or something just to say again thank you so much for our relationship in our loyalty together. It’s it’s. Wonderful! Because again, people always get clients. But retaining clients is key and that’s just another way to say, you know, i remember we’ve been working together for x amount of years thank you so much, it’s, consistent with something that i recommend in fund-raising which is the anniversary of someone’s gift or implant e-giving where the gift doesn’t come, usually until the person’s death, the anniversary of them having informed you of their gift and i’ve had donorsearch donor who i remember that date for, and i send them a note, or we’re having lunch that day or around that day, and they have no idea that it’s the anniversary of the day, that they informed us of the gift in their will or life insurance. It’s so true and again, people die when i worked with non-profits i’ve actually said the same thing, for as you just said might mention another thing, i just want to say very quickly. There was one organization i worked with, and they sent a note on the anniversary that the pet it was a medical facility that the pet had passed away remembering, and it was so touching to the the owner that he made quite a nice gift for the organization. We’re going to take a break and when? We return andrea nirenberg. And i’m going to keep talking about her. Thirty four things to know about people. And i hope you stay with us talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping conscious people. Be better business people. Dahna are you concerned about the future of your business for career? Would you like it all to just be better? Well, the way to do that is to better communication, and the best way to do that is training from the team at improving communications. This is larry sharp, host of the ivory tower radio program and director at improving communications. Does your office need better leadership, customer service sales or maybe better writing are speaking skills? Could they be better at dealing with confrontation conflicts, touchy subjects all are covered here at improving communications. If you’re in the new york city area, stopped by one of our public classes or get your human resource is in touch with us. The website is improving communications, dot com, that’s, improving communications, dot com, improve your professional environment, be more effective, be happier and make more money improving communications. That’s the answer buy-in hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business, why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com welcome back as we talk about thirty four things to know about people with andrea nierenberg, president of nierenberg consulting group, you have some other ones that are that i thought were interesting. Favorite food, restaurants, vacations. You just find this stuff out over time, i guess. Yes, it’s not like you don’t drill somebody and just ask these questions, but over time, people might say, like, people will say to me, oh, when did you become a vegan? Because i’m a vegan, so i will ask something about with the way they eat. So for knowing their food, somebody would not send me steaks for holiday dinner, right? Provoc sabat exactly that would not be right thing. So it’s, just knowing those things and people have certain likes and dislikes that they tell you as you get to know them, but most of the time that goes in one ear and out the other, i write it down. Okay? Why are you a vegan? Is that for health reason? Now i just wait for him. No, no, no. My own health. Recent exactly. Because one of the things on your list, his motivations. Why you’re motivated to be a vegan. You know what? I a long time i’ve been vegetarian, and then i just started to eliminate anything with a face. Okay, what did you mean? We should just take a chance? Let’s, make sure people understand what we’re talking about it? What? What is the vegan diet? Vegan diet is funnies it’s eighty. Eighty percent of what grows instead of what walks. Okay, so that’s, really what it is, what grows, you know, from the earth. So proved vegetables, things like that instead of a kn animal. So fish, chicken, any kind of meat protein not included, including dairy products, right? Well, you know, so i’m ninety percent vegan. So sometimes i have a little dairy. Okay, so a strict vegan would strict big and, you know, exactly, no or no animal products, right? Some ninety percent. Okay. All right, so i was going to take you out for clams on the half shell and e i guess we’re not doing that. Okay. Uh, other interesting stuff the personal objectives, right? Personal objectives. Why? What are we going to do with that information? Who knows? But again, when somebody tells you something that they’re passionate about or an objective they have, whether it’s in business or in their personal life or whatever, it’s, just something to get them talking more. Tell me more about that. Yeah, that’s a good one, right? Because we want to be asking. As we said on the october fifth show, lots of open ended questions. Talk to people, right? Exactly. Some of their ah, some of their business objectives. Exactly. Right? Because that way, find out. Are they happy where they are they looking to move expand a lot of times, you know, you just find out more things about what keeps him up at night, specifically about business. If they have their own business or if they’re working in a firm, whatever might there be some people that you don’t want to know? Thirty four things about me there’s. Something just one or two enough. And then they get a little annoying. Yes. And i want to make sure that we think okay, i have friends for a long time that i don’t know all thirty four topics again, these air just a list because, like, i don’t know you that even that that well, but i know you somewhat already. I know a few things about you, all right? So tease, but we’re gonna pass. I’m not even going. Okay, okay. See? Alright. Continue going. Go ahead. Fine. Go ahead. What do you know? Well, for example, for example, when it would come to the part about your an author, i know back that you’re an author and that you wrote about compliance, which is in itself something very interesting, because a lot of times people don’t even understand that word. Then i also put together that you probably knowing you were an analytical type of personality. Well, okay, but, you know, you have different personalities listed. That would just be your dominant one. Okay? Because you have dominant, expressive, amiable or analytical right. I was kind of hoping to be a cross between expressive and amy of an amicable, but you don’t know don’t know don’t know don’t know don’t know. Don’t feel bad about that. Just saying precision oriented is no, no, no, i get involved in the details, knows another’s down, and now you’re you know, the best thing is that we actually are part of all of these styles. What your dominant one. And i figured that out. Also from your military background and being a combat, i think, therefore in the air force, right, comeback crew commander never saw combat. Yeah, what now we come, but i saw it was from the air from if a crew, right, that you were not a ground based, okay, yes, self-funding so those types of things where things conversation builders, sure. Okay, and your blogger, i’m a blogger, right? Okay, so just saying those ditigal makes sense, and and also, but you do some research, and then when you have conversations with somebody, i do okay, including on the show. Those are good ones, but you don’t have spell my last name. No, no, no, no, stop your sheet, says says says, tony are ok for my that was my own knows antonio markham. Eddie, i know i remember when i met you, and that was the other thing. How do you spell your name? And i had to write it a future remember you asking now you say it. All right, so how do you pronounce your name? And how do you spell your name again? So but for my own you right? For my cheat sheet, i only put tony and from them, but i know it’s important to you now, so now always write it out as tony martignetti i wouldn’t say i mean, secure about it, but, you know, there are martignetti who have taken the g out on, and i’m a proud g holder, a g maintainer, you know, i would even say like that g spot in my yes, but we don’t have time. I hate for it to be obliterated. Oh, yeah, it will. It will never be much. Okay. All right. I think we’ve beaten that to death is the reason i’m feeling a little forward about this? Because because your list is so comprehensive now i’m feeling like i’m not a good friend all my dear friends, who i don’t know, i can’t say that i know their immediate business objectives, you don’t have, like a shallow friends, you know, if i don’t become a little forward, i’m going to be defensive no, no, no, because what happens is this is just information, because no matter how well you know somebody, you always learn something new about them and some people you never find out a lot of these things and who cares, right? It’s just it’s a conversation builder, i could still be a good friend. You’ve certainly can’t. I don’t know the the anniversary that we met, but one that that is a great one for everyone to know for anybody is their preferred method of communication. Because, you know, we have so many different ways to reach back to somebody and if you need to get ahold of somebody, i always say what’s, your preferred method is that email is that phone? Is it text? You know, it’s, it’s, social media, you know, there’s all different ways now. Amy sample ward is in the wings in the green room right now. She’s going to be the next guest and i’m sure she would have something to say about how two people prefer. Do they want a facebook message? They want email? Come on. What do they want? Neither of those that maybe they want a phone call, you know, and that’s the whole thing. I mean, exactly, the world of social media is fascinating. And one of the points that you made when you were last here was that we want to leave people we want. We want to take something. We want to give something and we want one of them water and something. I learned something but have a reason to follow up with a reason. Follow-up how should we follow-up right? Access your opportunity, what’s your preferred method of communication for me to get back in touch with you. Okay. Okay. So we we talked about how to save her to save these things. I mean, doesn’t have to be computer based. Of course, you can have it on idealware five cards. If you want. You can have your own frenchie. You can have anything. You want elektronik? Lee just makes it easier. Sure, of course is the stage. It makes a lot of sense to not have to go to your donors, you know, index card, right? But for a small charity getting started, you know, maybe they don’t have the wherewithal for next excel spreadsheet. It’s sort of hard to imagine, but you just don’t know what the what the technology aptitude is for people who have a deep motivation about write something that they want to start a charity around. And also when you are speaking to a donor and you find out what their passion issue no again, that’s great nothing to write down also because it helps also when you’re talking to them about their gift. I always remember somebody told me once that they went to a charity, they were sponsoring a charity, and they wanted to go to this one bury a successful man to talk to him about this gift. All they wanted a roof for their building when they walk into his office all around the room were pictures of him swimming, swimming medals, and they never once mentioned anything about the pool that they could. Abuse, which he would have, like immediately, probably written a check for but they just talked about the roof so it’s, like look at people and see what their passions are. I used to use that a lot when i was interviewing for jobs back in the dark days when i was an employee of other people, but i still use it. And when i’m meeting donors or clients, you look, you look around the office, i mean, you’re going to see a diploma? Oh, you went teo texas tech, you know? Whatever you see a sailboat, you see andrew’s point your list what what’s in their college where they went exactly, but even you know, if you don’t know, did you look around? If someone’s wearing a lapel pin, you can’t see what the pin is? Maybe it’s, not american flags. Some men do walk around without american flags under the pel it’s. Hard to believe, but some do if you can’t read what the lapel pin is asked, is that rotary? Is that lion’s club? Is it? Did you get an award from the red? Whatever you’re retiring, you wrote, arise excellent, okay, which after you rotary of new york city right here we meet at the harvard club. She knows she has to drop that. Okay, but you’re renting a room at the heart. It’s not like i don’t know. Sac. Like special content. Some manhattan group renting a room? Yes. Are they rent a room at the harvard club? Yes, new york, greater new york rotary. But, you know, it’s been great because wherever i’ve traveled in the world, a lot of times i will always take my rotary carded. Like i’ve gone to many meetings, i know they’re international. You also have. Well, is there anything else you want to say about the thirty four tips before we moved to five things now and then i said, unless one of your listeners maybe has a great tip or another thing we can add. Okay, well, the link is goingto linked to this list is going to be on the facebook page of linked in group and you can also can you can add to andrew’s lift that’s going to be tough it’s pretty comprehensive list. But people are people are creative, very create alright will challenge the audience. Give andrea a couple of things that she doesn’t have on her list, make this list deeper than thirty four, and then when the show was making an offer, if somebody sent so you know, i’ll send him a book, if somebody doesn’t want somebody adds to the list and we added, which i probably will, but even for the effort, okay, cool that’s for listeners. All right, so you have books to choose from. You have non stop networking, million dollar networking seven networking networking for college students and recent graduates. And as of last friday, networking for veterans. Okay, we’re gonna have a chance to talk about a little networking for veterans. What do we do it right now? Since you mentioned it? What what’s special about networking for veterans? Well, because of what’s going on bringing our troops back-up getting them into the work force it into the private sector. We’ve put together a guide, and it was written by me and also with somebody who spent two different times in afghanistan. A marine who’s now working at cnbc and also started a company called four blocks. So it’s a transition guide on everything to do because you’re coming back and getting into the work world. But why is networking for veterans different than the tips that you have in your other books? So not really that different, except that people like to have it nichd according to them. So what it issa’s we really went in and talked about their needs there specifics had to turn their resumes, for example, into military terms into more conversational terms in that corporation, and people sometimes say, well, i don’t network when i’m in, you know, the military, but then they dio they have their friends, they have their groups that the companies and their different areas platoons, you know, the whole area, so they have connections and partnerships and it’s just the idea they’re extremely, extremely well suited for the workforce of civilian life. Their leaders, they managed a multi task. They deal with stress more than many people for ight they are totally precision oriented. They melt like i said, multi task. Their time management is amazing because i started a program one night speaking to a group in the program. Started six thirty they were in their seats ready to go, it’s six. Fifteen. I said you may see something different in the private sector so it’s, just a matter of transition skills i was listening to an interview was earlier this week, i think, and there’s a fear among employers about hiring vets because this is so ludicrous. Sametz but there’s my opinion of it, but it was because they were afraid of hiring the wacky, you know, shoot him up vet, which which i don’t even know if that person exists except in stereotypes, but but there’s a perception among employers that vets could, you know, go off the deep end one day or something. Excuse me way see it every day and people who haven’t been in the military, right? Exactly, your military employees going, toby worlds more stable, right than your average non military employees, and they’re so educated, i mean, they really are, and they work so hard, i mean, and they don’t leave at five o’clock they wait, leave when the job is done. Let’s move to your five things that you should be doing every day, okay, you’re full of lists, so we’re doing thirty nine things that were thirty for things, but it includes a critical five steps out of the thirty four is the five but now a different list. We have the five things to do every day, so we’re actually we’re doing thirty nine things today. Five things to do every day. What what’s that also gets a tip about you being an analytical that’s. True. Very good. So i want you to know i could validate that you not only about your vindicated? Yes, exactly. Okay, five things to do just again. And you don’t have to be doing them like all the time. But you’re there on your radar. You on your mind. So one thing is, think about meeting people are new people. What i mean by that is just surround the account if you’re working with a group or maybe a family or something like that get to know different people within the family or the different clients, whoever that isthe just knowing people surrounding the account, so to speak, on that same list, nurture the relationship so you could go back to something that you learn. He’s thirty for example where the nurture nurture and again in their preferred method of communication, maybe read something that they would be interested in her. An article you could send. To them, maybe you learned something. They were interested. They just came back like i just came back from croatia a few months ago. And i saw something today on pinterest and i was like, wow, that’s great. I know somebody else who just had gone there. I’m going to send that to them. So it’s, like connection. So nurture the second is make sure to listen. I thought this was the third. Well, the first has two parts. I’m sorry lorts sorry. Okay, part one and part two reports metoo and then nurture. Okay. All right. Yeah, i probably should separate them the right second. We have a couple minutes late. Just listen and learn. So actually, really, listen with your ears in your eyes. But within with those two years third is create advocacy, so find ways every day or every week to make connections with your connections to say, you know, tony martignetti you should meet so and so, and then tell a little about each other making email introduction forthe follow-up because most people think about all these things, but they don’t follow-up so just follow up on what i think today is their anniversary, right? So take a step, take a step, right, send a card, make a phone call, do something in fifth, find creative ways to stay on their radar screen so you can go back to thirty four stay on the radar screen. You okay? All about relationship. Really? This is what this is why i invited you back because i make fun of your your lists, but i think they’re great. Thank you. You know, it’s all in good fun, you know that, you know, no, because ways of building relationships, i mean, this is what we’re all about were all about people to people, whether it’s fund-raising or your next job or your next marriage, yes. And and, you know, now you’re going to hear about more about social media what’s perfect about that because every day, like when i’m on facebook or things, i’ve see something new that i could go back to somebody and then send a note or an article or something. So i noticed something about them and this may this may be a me sample ward’s last last appearance, i have five issues with her. We’re going to talk about around jargon jail andrew nirenberg. Is president of near bourg consulting group, which you will find at nierenberg group dot com. Andrew, thank you very much for being a good thank you for having me, it’s. A pleasure. Thank you, my pleasure. Right now we take a break, and when we returned, tony’s, take two, and then amy sample ward, and we’re going to keep talking about getting engaged online, will stay with me. We didn’t do anything, including the good ending. You’re listening to the talking alternative network, waiting to get me anything. Cubine hi, i’m donna and i’m done were certified mediators, and i am a family and couples licensed therapists and author of please don’t buy me ice cream are show new beginnings is about helping you and your family recover financially and emotionally and start the beginning of your life. We’ll answer your questions on divorce, family court, co parenting, personal development, new relationships, blending families and more dahna and i will bring you to a place of empowerment and belief that even though marriages may end, families are forever join us every monday, starting september tenth at ten a m on talking alternative dot com are you suffering from aches and pains? Has traditional medicine let you down? Are you tired of taking toxic medications? Then come to the double diamond wellness center and learn how our natural method it can help you to hell? Call us now at to one to seven to one eight one eight three that’s to one to seven to one eight one eight three or find us on the web at www dot double diamond wellness dot com we look forward to serving you. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Hi, i’m bill mcginley, president, ceo of the association for healthcare philanthropy. And you’re listening to tony martignetti non-profit radio. Big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. Welcome back. Time for tony’s take to my block this week is uplifting. Outpouring. After sandy, i saw some really proactive corporations take steps to help their customers after the hurricane. And i note some of them that came to me directly. The just email. And i’m not even customers of some of these, like ex customer, but they were letting us know that they were doing very proactive things, and i was impressed, and i wanted to recognize them. Chase bank was the first one i heard from. They proactively waved a bunch of fee’s, late fees, overdraft fees, insufficient funds, weise bond. Then the day after the hurricane, they extended the waivers the fee waivers and extra day. And they added a bunch more states. And they said this. I really was impressed with this quote, we have empowered our employees to be very accommodating to your hurricane related circumstances in waving fees, including the early withdrawal fees on most cds and quote. So they were making it easy for you to get your money. And if you didn’t have money view, um, you know, what’s that called when you overdraw you bounced. The check is i was looking for simple before bounced the check they were going to save those, you know, those types of fees. I was impressed by that. Thank you. America. They did the same thing bunch of fee waivers. And then they announced lenient credit arrangements to help get you access to money. Um, new york sports club opened its doors to everybody. So if you wanted to take a hot shower, if you wanted to do a work out, the clubs were open to the entire new york city population. And i thought that was exemplary and all very proactive. So i admired those things and you’ll find the little dipper explanation on my blogged, uplifting outpouring over sandy on my block. Is that tony martignetti dot com? Not tony m dot com like like andrea nierenberg would have you believe, but tony martignetti dot com and that is tonight. She’s gone now. So that’s tony’s take two for friday, november sixteenth, the forty eighth show of the year. Any sample ward is with me now? She’s membership. Hey, it’s. Not your turn yet? Hey, i’m gonna have to find another jail to accuse you. I’m having trouble with you, she’s the membership director at non-profit technology network and ten and contributed contributor to the stanford social innovation review she’s, co author of social by social handbook on using social technologies for social impact her block is that amy sample, ward, dot, or ge and she’s? On twitter at amy r s ward. Welcome back, thank you for having me. I mean, i know it was pretty rough last time, so we had some trouble around jorgen jail. You’ve got a little devil recalcitrant, we’re still talking about getting engaged, get get engaged part, too, so just remind listeners briefly what it was last week about last month that’s setting the tone, sure so it very conveniently and i’m sure it will again today build on a little bit of what andrea had said earlier in the segment, but but really, you know, being a valuable community member, so not just trying to push content out but give people what they’re looking for a point them to resource is, even if they’re not on your own web site, you know, b be a good participant, create valuable content, but also establish yourself as a trustworthy community member, you know, again, that’s not just pointing people to your own website, but here’s actually, the report you wanted, even though we didn’t do it, you know, here, here it is and just begin transparent being open with your communications eso you’re building up the trust with the community so that later today, when we talk about then asking them to do something for you, they’re more willing to because they know that you’re really there with them for whatever that causes, okay? And yes, oh, today’s the call to action yep, you you have a little term still activism what’s on there’s, no charge in jail because you created it so it’s not that i didn’t creates activity now, i’ve never seen it, but really, i’m just a troubled, okay what’s selective is activism is actually term i dislike, but it is used. I’m not going to say often now that you just said you’ve never heard it, so it could be often on scott koegler caldnear kruckel so i’m just very don’t use me as a standard for anything. So so it is something that has been used, you know, bye those critical of the social content sector. So whether it’s in a new york times piece or on essay by someone you know, trying to maybe, in a way, be little or question the role of social online engagement in the fight for a better world to mean that it’s a slacker action like clicked of ism is another phrase. So, you know, just because you could really easily do that thing, does it even matter? Is it? Is it really an important thing to dio like liking your facebook ranger or retweeting exactly exactly on those are the things that are most often point into as as the definition of selective ism liking something on facebook that an organization posted but really it’s not about calling it a slacker action or or saying, oh, that’s, the most important thing that is relevant to the point is that organisations are using these tools to build engagement, to build trust, and sometimes all that you have to say today is, hey here’s, a news story that we thought was interesting related to our cause, why don’t you read it? You know, here we’re just sharing what we’re doing and people liking that news article or sharing it with their friends, it isn’t something. To discredit that’s a lot of people saying we read the article and thank you for posting it and sharing it with us, and we’re sharing it with our network, so that is a good sign that you’re community is listening a and that they’re willing to show you yet we’re here to do whatever you want to do, and you should consider those, you know, lower, ahh lower asks azaz things that are just maintaining engagement and it’s keeping people connected so that maybe today you’re just sharing news. But tomorrow you say, oh my gosh, the hurricane just hit here are how the resource is for for getting help and please go offline with these resources and help people, so they’re ready because they already we’re watching your page and were regularly engaging. They trust the content you share, and now they’re ready to take action on, isn’t there? Ah counterpart in our our face-to-face relationships in our personal relationships, i’m sometimes i might just send an email to a friend, but another time i might invite him over for a drink or dinner. Exactly. We haven’t gotten together for a while, so right? Clicking like or you? Know, asking for every tweet has an analogy as an analogy, and in our day today, right, if you’ve got an email from someone you hadn’t talked to in a year and they were like, oh, my gosh, so this year i want a fundraiser for christmas or, like, give to my birthday cause and, oh, i’ll totally take you out to dinner, too, but, you know, like that you’re just like, where were you the last year when i’ve had a life, you know, so it’s the same thing you want to just maintain engagement and kind of keep tabs, you know, on what the organization is doing or in the other way around, you know, give opportunities for your community to know what you’re working on, so that when you do say, oh, now we’re ready to launch a campaign or a new program or whatever the community knows why you would even be launching it or why you’d be telling them about it. Yeah, okay, how do you know what people are interested in across the different platforms? They’re suited for different things, but how do you know what people want to get from you across twitter? Versus lincoln sure. Well, first is asking them kind of to andrew’s point is being able to say, oh, you just signed up for the email newsletter? What kind of topics are you interested? Are you in environmental organisations? Don’t just say i assume you all want to know about the environment say, are you actually more interested in climate change versus animals? You know, someone that really cares about alligators and doesn’t care at all about climate change is going to hate you if you start emailing them about climate change like i love alligators, maybe that person exists. I don’t know, i am not extremely fond of alligators because, you know, teeth, large mouth, strength, scary way could explore that another call, but so, you know, let people opt in just to a specific type of content on and similarly, if you are, you know, getting people following you on twitter reach out i mean, you can see who’s following you reach out everyone, so i’ll just say, hey, what are you most interested in? You know, how can we? How can we help you on dh? Just asked because, hey, if they don’t respond, you’re in the same place you are now, but if half of them write back and say, we’re all understand alligators great, apparently your twitter followers are really interested in animals, you know, on then the second part of it is listening so you can ask obviously, that step one, but then just pay attention. Now all these people are following you on twitter sort through see if there’s some key words or some hashtags people are often using and say, wow, it really seems like even though we’re on twitter sharing this content, all these people that have found us and followed us are really more interested in this other topic. You know, maybe we shift some of what we’re posting their same with on facebook or whatever channel you’re using, you know, listen for not who is the person that everyone’s listening to that’s important, but but even those other people that aren’t getting retweeted if they’re constantly all having conversations about a slightly different topic than what you’ve been posting to that channel, maybe that’s, why you’re not getting the engagement that you want or why you could have more if you taylor to that channel most people, you know statistically, or what the research shows is that even though there are people like myself are like you that do have accounts on many platforms just because we’re social beasts that are engaging with the community all over the place, not we’re not out. No, we’re not eating the people were just engaging with, um, that we that people still choose a primary channel that, you know, if they were only going to log in one place today, that that’s the place, so people that aren’t like us, they probably maybe only have one or two channels and the primary versus non primaries like that. Nonprime everyone is once a month, they maybe look at so the way that changes who’s on your facebook page versus who’s in your your linked in group first as following you on twitter, the kinds of people that choose that primary space are going to be different across different platforms, and so the things they’re interested in, the way they talk about them is going to also be different. So listening is going to help you say, great. Maybe we don’t ever post our block post on facebook because the people there, they just want us to write out what the fact was or what the research finding was and let them talk about it in the same space, but over on twitter, maybe they want us to just give them the link so they can share the link around. You know? So so it’s about the topic and the way you give the information so that that group can have it the way they want, instead of having to go find the block post because they really just wanted the findings. You know, i got sense. Um, some fresh live listener love, benita springs, florida and staten island. Staten island. Of course, we’re thinking about you from sandy. There are a lot of people still in a very bad state in staten island. Three weeks is not enough time to recover from what sandy did. So stat now and our love and our hearts go out to you. Foreign listeners abroad. Taipei, uh, fukuoka, japan. Tokyo, japan. Asahi, japan. Chung ju in china welcome, it’s. Unbelievable. Welcome foreign listeners. Have you been noticing that or i have been anyway? I’m asking if you have. Of course. This is all about me. So what? I experienced the world experiences. It’s. True, that zoho except first activism know there’s. All right, i’m not, yeah, i wasn’t aware of that one. Alligator amy is with us, and now i’ve been noticing that a lot of the the social networks linked in and facebook specifically are sending the e mail to tell me now about things that are happening over on the on my site on facebook and lincoln, people have viewed my profile on linked in to try to get on argast room they want meteo more traffic on lengthen facebook, you have a list of twenty six things that you haven’t responded to, but they’re usually just like new events or something. Is that mean that the networks are recognizing? Email is an important channel? Well, i think it’s because i mean, these platforms have always recognized email as the channel to get you back in that’s why they all rely on notifications that you know, here’s the e mail that someone just posted on your wall here is the email that someone wants to be your lincoln connection, you know, they’ve always relied on email tio loop you back in for notifications, but they’re realizing now hey, maybe people will come back and check out linked in even if they don’t have an open invitation they have tio you know, ignore or accept, but we could just say, hey, did you see that these three people change their job titles were going to tell you what their new job titles are. We’re going to hook you back in, yeah, but then, you know, while you’re here, then we’re going to try and prompt you to update your job title and then that lets us email them and say, hey, you just changed your job, you know, so it’s just looking for opportunities that aren’t just in those notifications, that just aren’t the actions toe loop you back into the platform saying with facebook and the pages, okay, we gotta take a break, any stays with us, and i hope you do, too. Yeah, you’re listening to the talking alternative network. Schnoll are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping conscious people. Be better business people. Have you ever considered consulting a road map when you feel you need help getting to your destination when the normal path seems blocked? A little help can come in handy when choosing an alternate route. Your natal chart is a map of your potentials. It addresses relationships, finance, business, health and, above all, creativity. Current planetary cycles can either support or challenge your objectives. I’m montgomery taylor. If you would like to explore the help of a private astrological reading, please contact me at monte at monty taylor dot. Com let’s, monte, m o nt y monty taylor. Dot com. Talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Kayman sample ward is with me she’s, our social media scientist she’s too modest that’s something i don’t dare she’s two months call herself that, but social media really is an art and a science when there is science, right? There’s numbers there’s a lot of quantitative oh yeah, lots of metrics. I mean, you could you could die happy and those in that data, you know what? Also always in art, we’re talking about some of the art yeah, you know, exactly turn people off, you want to recognize their appropriate channels, etcetera, right? Right, exactly let’s suppose now that you’re not in, you know, you don’t have any big campaign going on, not some big push for money or or activity or volunteers or lobbying or whatever. How are we keeping people engaged between these campaigns? Well, i mean, it’s important to plan for the non campaign engagement, especially the the immediate week or month after a campaign, so that you don’t just have tons and tons of action and then silence eso when you’re when you’re creating your campaign plan and considering the online engagement components, you have to then plan for the phase out after radcampaign but then after that it’s, you know, like we just said, you want to make sure you’re sharing things and giving people ways to continue to engage with you so that they, you know, so you’re content going to use a show up in their facebook news feed and and all the rest but it’s important that whatever you’re sharing is still relevant and valuable and trustworthy, etcetera, because if it isn’t, then people are just going to see right through it if you’re just, you know, saying something just to have a post that day, no, people are smart enough to know that you don’t have anything to say and that and that is interpreted by the community is as you’re not really carrying so it’s better to just not have posted that post than to just write something that says, what are you doing today? Because we don’t have anything to say, you know, now campaign could be something small, even just like a new blood post, right? But if all your stream is ever about his new block post every two weeks, people that’s, that’s, the one way, the deadly one way exactly, and there are lots of ways, especially when you think of it not as a campaign or trying to put pressure on yourself as huge, you know, engagement, gathering things, but if you just think about it from the content planning perspective, there are lots of ways that you can maintain engagement outside of campaign, so you could say, you know, every thursday we share a news story from the week that is about our issue and you know, that we’re seeing people talking about and so then, you know, great every thursday, we already have our content plant, and the community now expects to get news from us every week, so, you know, you could just pull that link from the new york times where it is here’s the article we’ve seen some of these community members give their feedback, what do you what do you think? And just start the conversation and you don’t have to have searched for things if you’re paying attention as an organization, you probably are following the news around your issue. So it’s not a difficult, it doesn’t take staff capacity to try and maintain that, but it definitely helps maintain engagement in the community geever same with the bog post, do you know that you’re going to have a block post every week or uncertain days than just plan that that’s the piece you’re going to share and then test? Do we just post the link to the block post and say, hey, what do you think, here’s this week’s blood post? Or do you say here’s a quote from the block post? What do you think? You know, what’s your reaction just to the quote and get people talking. So even within the content you’re sharing regularly, you contest and kind of changed the nuance you know, of how your of how you’re posting it and just keeping things regular, a lot of a lot of organizations i’ve worked with, their natural instinct is home. I’ve ash that’s so boring everyone will think every thursday you share a news story, uh, come up with something original, but actually that regularity helps the community because they know, oh, man, i didn’t see a news story, you know, from habitat for humanity in new york today, and and i am used to seeing that i’m going to go look for the news story instead of just trying. To hope people see it, you know, you’re creating a reliable source for them, right? And and i think people and people do come to expect it. Andi, you don’t want to think that your stream is the only thing they’re following. So exact waiting for next thursday, there’s plenty of other things happening between the thursdays, right? Exactly their lives and their social networks. Exactly. Exactly. You know, it’s not like you. Oh, they have nothing to do until next thursday, right? But then it can also help you. It can help inform when you do plan for ah large campaign, because you can look back and say of all of our thursday news posts, actually, you know, over time they’ve gotten less and less traction let’s make sure we don’t frame important news during a campaign, the way we were framing it there because we saw people, you know, kind of lost interest or oh, my gosh, this kind of content we’re sharing just does fabulous every week. Let’s make sure we incorporate that into our campaign plan so that every day we have one of those for example, you know, so don’t just think of it as like, well, this is the boring in between stuff, but that’s, that’s your test, you know, that’s, the science part that’s where you get a test out, see what works and in the campaign just use the stuff that we’re yeah, excellent. Okay, and since we’re talking about campaigns, we just have about thirty seconds left, but one of the things you want to do it right after your campaign is share results, share results on and it’s a really easy way the community likes to know they made an impact, you know? And so obviously a lot of organizations think we’ll share. You know, how many people signed the petition and how much money we raised, whatever, but also share things like here’s, the photo that was shared most and then everyone could say, i shared that photo, you know, like, it seems silly, but they will remember that photo if they were the ones that shared it, and then they think, yeah, i’m going to share it again. I’m going to like it. It is a compelling photo, you know? S so think of those other social components to report back on as well. Alligator amy thing scientist her bloggers that amy sample war dot or ge? And on twitter she’s at amy r s ford. Good to see you. Thanks. Thank you. Yep, pleasure. Next week we don’t have a show. You certainly have my good wishes for thanksgiving, especially people displaced from sandy. I hope you can take time and give thanks for the blessing that you still do have in your life, and you have on everyone has my good wishes for for thanksgiving next week on november thirtieth, russell james with request brain scans this professional from texas tech that see texas tech is on my mind if you were paying attention. I mentioned texas tech earlier today, russell has done research to show how our brains light up when we decide to put a charity in our will so it’s bequest brain scans and we’ll explore his work and also scott koegler returns on thirtieth he’s, our tech contributor and the editor of non-profit technology news. In the meantime, i believe next week there will be a new fund-raising fundamentals podcast that i do for the chronicle of philanthropy. You can never trust these people, you know, they’re editorial practices, they’re very sketchy. I don’t know, i’m not exactly sure when the thing’s coming out, they could learn a lot from tony martignetti non-profit radio, i’m sure, but it’s supposed to be next week, and if it is, then the topic is year end fund-raising tips you’ll find fund-raising fundamentals on the chronicle of philanthropy website and also on itunes. You know you can listen to non-profit radio, live or archive if you want to find the archive it’s also on itunes at non-profit radio dot net, wishing you good luck the way performers do around the world. Oh, i’m supposed to ask janice. How do you pronounce the the one from the czech republic and slovakia? Because i wanted to go south from sweden. Janice, how do i say z l o m v a zom vase? Just the way it looks ok. Islam vase from the czech republic and slovakia. And that is break a neck. They want you that’s a much more critical than break a leg. But that’s, you know they’re more dangerous people there. Suppose i’m wishing you islam vase. Our creative producers claire meyerhoff. Sam liebowitz is our line producer on this show. Social media is by regina walton of organic social media, the producer of tony martignetti non-profit radio, is john federico of the new rules, and i hope that you’ll be with me in two weeks at talking alternative dot com. Next, fry on friday, november thirtieth, one to two p, m eastern. I didn’t think the shooting. Good ending things. You’re listening to the talking alternative network, waiting to get me anything. E-giving hi, i’m donna and i’m done were certified mediators, and i am a family and couples licensed therapists and author of please don’t buy me ice cream are show new beginnings is about helping you and your family recover financially and emotionally and start the beginning of your life will answer your questions on divorce, family court, co parenting, personal development, new relationships, blending families and more dahna and i will bring you to a place of empowerment and belief that even though marriages may end, families are forever join us every monday, starting september tenth at ten a m on talking alternative dot com are you suffering from aches and pains? Has traditional medicine let you down? Are you tired of taking toxic medications? Then come to the double diamond wellness center and learn how our natural methods can help you, too? He’ll call us now at to one to seven to one eight one eight three that’s two one two seven to one eight one eight, three or find us on the web at www dot double diamond wellness dot com way look forward to serving you! You’re listening to talking alt-right network at www. Dot talking alternative dot com, now broadcasting twenty four hours a day. This is tony martignetti aptly named host of tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent technology fund-raising compliance, social media, small and medium non-profits have needs in all these areas. My guests are expert in all these areas and mohr. Tony martignetti non-profit radio friday’s one to two eastern on talking alternative broadcasting are you fed up with talking points, rhetoric everywhere you turn left or right? Spin ideology no reality, in fact, its ideology over intellect, no more it’s time for action. Join me, larry shop a neo-sage tuesday nights nine to eleven easter for the ivory tower radio in the ivory tower will discuss what’s important to you society, politics, business and family. It’s provocative talk for the realist and the skeptic who want to know what’s. Really going on? What does it mean? What can be done about it? So gain special access to the ivory tower. Listen to me, larry sharp, your neo-sage tuesday nights nine to eleven new york time go to ivory tower radio dot com for details. That’s ivory tower radio dot com everytime was a great place to visit for both entertainment and education listening tuesday. Nights nine to eleven. It will make you smarter. Talking. Hyre

112: Friends From Events & Get Engaged 1 – Tony Martignetti Nonprofit Radio

Tony’s guests this week:

Andrea Nierenberg, president of Nierenberg Consulting Group

Amy Sample Ward, membership director for NTEN and blogger at Stanford Social Innovation Review

Read and watch more on Tony’s blog: http://tonymartignetti.com

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Hyre hello and welcome to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent, i’m your aptly named host it’s october fifth, two thousand twelve oh, i hope you’re with me last week. Yes, i do simply i hope you were here because last week was the law of attraction to attract major gift prospects and potential board members, you have to put your best foot forward to get what you’re seeking. Melanie schnoll begun is managing director at morgan stanley private wealth management remember, she helps her ultra high net worth clients make charitable gifts and get on boards, and she had practical and valuable advice that applies to any charity soliciting a major gift or recruiting a boardmember also private benefits not dirty but bad. We’re not talking friends with benefits. These air the rules against private and your mint excess benefit transactions and private benefit generally these rules keep your charity operating for the public good. Emily chan from the non-profit and exempt organizations law group is our monthly legal contributor and she explained all those rules this week. Friends from from events andrea nierenberg, president of nierenberg consulting group, talks you through her friendly steps for meeting more people at events of any kind and building a real relationship with them. It’s. Remarkably simple advice and get engaged. One amy sample ward, our social media scientist, kicks off. Her new status as contributor. This month is part one of a series on riel engagement and building trust through online social networks. She’s, membership director for non-profit technology network and ten, and she blog’s for stanford social innovation review. Are you on twitter at this moment? If you are, then you should be following us on the hashtag non-profit radio on tony’s. Take two in between the guests, perseverance, that’s, what i blogged this week and that’s what i’ll talk about at roughly thirty two minutes into the hour. Right now, we take a break. When we returned, i’ll be joined by andrea nirenberg, and we will talk about friends from events. Stay with me, co-branding dick, dick tooting, getting ding, ding, ding, ding. You’re listening to the talking alternative network duitz e-giving. Nothing. Good joined the metaphysical center of new jersey and the association for hyre. Awareness for two exciting events this fall live just minutes from new york city in pompton plains, new jersey, dr judith orloff will address her bestseller, emotional freedom, and greg brady will discuss his latest book, deep truth living on the edge. Are you ready for twelve twenty one twelve? Save the dates. Judith orloff, october eighteenth and greg brady in november ninth and tenth. For early bird tickets, visit metaphysical center of newjersey dot or or a nj dot net. Hi, i’m donna, and i’m done were certified mediators, and i am a family and couples licensed therapists and author of please don’t buy me ice cream are show new beginnings is about helping you and your family recover financially and emotionally and start the beginning of your life. We’ll answer your questions on divorce, family, court, co, parenting, personal development, new relationships, blending families and more. Dahna and i will bring you to a place of empowerment and belief that even though marriages may end, families are forever. Join us every monday, starting september tenth at ten am on talking alternative dot com. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Duitz lorts durney yeah, welcome back. We’re always talking about big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent, and today is no exception to that. In the studio with me now is andrea nierenberg she’s, author of several books, and i’ll ask her to name a couple of those titles in a few moments. She’s, president of nierenberg consulting group, which you’ll find at nierenberg group dot com you’ll find her name is spelled and i e r e n b e r g nierenberg group dot com, and i’m very pleased that her work and her expertise brings her to the studio and the show. Andrea welcome. Thank you so much, tony it’s great to be here. It’s a pleasure to have you i’m glad you’re with us. Thank you were talking about friends from events. People get a little intimidated at events what’s what’s up. People do because they think that when they go to any kind of an event that they have to get something and i always say before you go, set a goal in your mind that you’re curious, you’re going to go to meet a couple of new people, learn about them, and i always say when i talk about networking, the opposite of networking is not working that every time you meet someone it’s an opportunity to learn from them, be a resource or give something first, if you go with that sort of premise, it’s fun, all right? And we’ll go into detail on each of those. You know, you have a lot of advice around those, but but this is potentially walking into a room full of strangers or mostly strangers. I mean, if i only know two or three a handful of people out of the room, i might not see those people it’s intimidating. It might be, but you could do your research before you go and that’s something that we all have available right now. You can go online, you can see a little bit about the organization you can see about the event that’s going to be coming up, even a social event on a lot of times, i’ll just, you know, connect with the person who’s giving the party or whatever just to learn a little bit about that. So for something it’s a business related, i say, get in touch with the greeter or the organizer before. The event or after you’ve done some homework so you make an introduction b e mail or call them, i’ll say, i’m going to be coming and you know, i don’t really know anyone there. What advice might you have? People are shocked when people do that, then do something really important. Send a note after you’ve spoken to the person or connected with them online it’s that given you some feedback, a hand written note just to say, i’m really looking forward, all right, and we’re goingto that kind of detail. I pulled listeners before the show, and we did have low survey response this week, so maybe less reliable than usual. But one of the questions i asked was, do you prepare before attending your charities social events, for instance, who you’d like to meet, research those people and think about talking points with people? And eighty percent of the people said yes, and twenty percent said, no, they do not. So for the eighty percent will have advice. We will put a finer point on that, and for the other twenty percent, we’ll get you up to speed. Let’s, say a little more about the researcher and how first, how are we going to find out who’s going to be there? Well, sometimes you can go right online and you can see who the board of directors are if there’s a speaker who the speaker is, you can see people that have been other events that they’ve had, and again, you may not get a guest list for that particular evening or that day, but at least you’ve got some people. And again, you may not meet those particular people, but at least if you do, you have the opportunity to go to google or to go to their site or the link dan or anything to find out a little bit about them. So if you do have the opportunity to meet them there, you have some talking points are but there are other people that you could meet that you don’t have. I did the research on. Okay, andi, if this is your own charities event, you might be a fundraiser or an executive director for a boardmember going to an event, then you definitely can get a copy of the certainly i just i’m so excited about this new friends of events, i threw the microphone across the across the table, but i’m back don’t worry on dunaj un injured as well. So then, if you’re one of those people and it’s easy that you definitely should get a list of all the attendees and go through it. It’s very easy and, you know, especially if you say, you know, i really love to meet these people and connect with them on and differentiate yourself. I always say also go to google alerts because any time that somebody has been in the media or the press or anything, you can get some information and you’ll get it like in a low. So you want to set up a google alerts for someone. Now, if this is a big event, you would probably wouldn’t set it up for all the all the hundreds of people who are coming for your key people that really happened. They have that all the time for your key people, because it’s it’s something that’s ongoing because you’re just not going to go to the event, meet them and that’s it. You want to build a relationship? That’s the whole idea. And also, you don’t want to stop the people. I mean, this is this is just getting a zai say to some people gathering intelligence and information, you’re just pulling in. So you have knowledge. When you meet somebody, you have a very short window of time to make a first impression. Okay, understand? So clearly our research is part of our goal setting. When this is all subsumed, i guess in having a goal for the afternoon or the evening. Absolutely. I want to send some live listener love out tio new bern, north carolina and a story of new york that’s queen’s write stories. Queens. Of course. I knew that i used to live in forest hills, queens on dh. This may be a popular time in the story of two because it’s beer, it’s octoberfest and a story of new york happens to be known for its beer gardens. So welcome a story. Welcome. New bern, north carolina. Live listener love out to out to you that’s. Nice, of course. Well, did you expect other one that no, in fact, i’m going to be in a story tomorrow. So that’s what? Okay, cool. You thought i was? A crash host? No etiquette. Okay, that you’re great. Well, don’t get carried away. But you thought it would be okay. Okay, we’ll be fine. Um with just a minute left or so before our first break. What else should we be thinking about when we when we know who these people are that we want to talk about what we want to talk to at that event position you’re, you know, your introduction, something that’s kapin pool to them and something that you could get your point across also, but something very short, brief focus on the other person, don’t focus on herself, which a lot of times people do say something to that person that when you walk up to them, is something that you admire about them. You’ve heard them speak. You’ve read something about their work, something like that and then put out your hand and introduce yourself. Take the initiative, tying your research that you did to the opening a couple lines. We’re all right. We’re gonna take this break and when we return, of course andrea nierenberg stays with me, and i hope you do, too. Talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping conscious people. Be better business people. Buy-in are you fed up with talking points, rhetoric everywhere you turn left or right? Spin ideology, no reality, in fact, its ideology over intellect, no more it’s, time for action. Join me, larry shot a neo-sage tuesday nights nine to eleven easter for the ivory tower radio in the ivory tower. We’ll discuss what you’re born, you society, politics, business, it’s, provocative talk for the realist and the skeptic who want to go what’s really going on. What does it mean? What can be done about so gain special access to the ivory tower? Listen to me, larry. Sure you’re neo-sage tuesday nights nine to eleven new york time go to ivory tower radio dot com for details. That’s, ivory tower radio, dot com e every time i was a great place to visit for both entertainment and education listening tuesday nights nine to eleven it will make you smarter. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com welcome back, andrea nirenberg is here and we’re talking about friends from events. What is thea the next step after you or you want people to be confident? Let’s? Take that and you want to put my hand out on dh introduced myself, right? I say you have to have your intangible tool kit with you and your tangible tool kit. Okay, what your intent? Intangible you’ve done your research, you’ve set a goal for the event. You’ve also thought about your appearance. You thought about the fact that when you walk into the room, you’re going to smile and research tells us that most people do not smile when they walk into a room, and when you smile and you walk in, first of all, you become more confident you feel more confident internally, you’re approachable, and it also is something that most people aren’t always doing there exactly. So watch the next time you walk into an event. Also, think about what you’re going to say to people, have you or introduction, you know you’re twenty second, if you will introduction, sort of a headline that you’ll have also some headlines about me, yet you have somebody says hey, tony, what do you do? Right. Well, say really, even though they want to know what you do, they really want to talk about who more than anybody, right? Thumb. So right. I mean, myself with there being polite. Absolutely. But i’m just saying, but that’s, how you draw a conversation with people. So as we all know, it’s very common sense also something so basic and self simple. Turn off all your equipment. I know i say this, but how many times do you go somewhere and people are still connected? Have great eye contact. Sounds simple, not always done in a firm handshake. Simple things, but all this is in your intangible tool kit. You know, because you have to think about these things. Also, take a quick look in the mirror and make sure you do give yourself a smile because i have a greeting in my office is a mirror is has a wonderful greeting. If you smile into it, it smiles back. If you frown into it, it returns that greeting it’s basic but basic works. Plus, you want to look to make sure you have spinach thing for understanding through exactly i talk. About that in a lot of my books and people laugh, but i say, you know, what’s critical it’s critical, and then in your end, in your tangible tool kit, this is keep have your business cards, not to give them out unless somebody asked for them, but have them so that they’re with you. I always say, have a prop with you to like something that you might where i wear a lot of pins have an interesting pan, something like that. So, you know, you can start conversation also pen and paper because your people took it was very full. Well, it’s not that full because what happens things are no, i’m pinned on bulky with my cards. No, no, no, no, not a lot less is just want one cup, one interesting thing, okay? And the thing is, i always say, don’t matter how sharp your mind is, it’s still weaker than the pale of stinks so i may learn something about you, toni, and then i’m thinking, i want to be able latto follow-up but i don’t have to write something down, so if we’re in a longer conversation, i might say, with your permission, could i write a few notes down because i’d like to be able to follow-up you don’t think that’s, you don’t find that craft if we’re in a conversation for awhile for discussing things not go? No most the time, the reason i have is after we walk away, then i think development officer going more morgan’s, you know, you’re not interviewing the person, not drilling them, but you know how sometimes you just like, well, that’s, right? You talk for a while, then you might say, just let me make a couple of those yeah, right, you know? And i’ll use their business card, teo, to make those, but no, i’m gonna correct on that because one of the things is i’m glad you brought that admonished no, no, not at all, but what happens if the business card if you think about in the far east and i’ve been there eight times and i always think about that when you get someone’s business card, they give it to you almost like it’s, like it’s them. I have heard that exactly, and people study it, they look at it, they come in on it, so you know what i’ve started. To do when i go to advance or when i meet people anywhere, i will get the card. Then i might comment on it. Tell me a little bit more about that and i just did this on one of my client programs that we do these webinars and all thie advisers in the room were like saying this’s, fantastic. Okay, something to dio, but we’re not in the far east, so i mean, here in the us we live in. We don’t. We don’t revere the business card. It’s maura, we should those, but but you know what, it’s? Another talking point. So the thing is, we usually to convince me of this. All right, well, i don’t want to convict e what i always say. I know, i know. I always say take the best and leave the the rest. Okay? But my point is when i will be with you so i know twenty tow woobox tangible and, boy, i got a front once i’m learning all the time. But the funny thing is that when you do look at someone’s card or ask some questions no, that part i love because because there’s often there’s information on the card that i think, oh, i used to live there or but i don’t look at it until i’m in my house. I met you, so i’m not. I’m not disagreeing with you about the staring at the card, actually reading it in the president, nothing glancing at the card really, i am being admonished is no question about that, but that’s okay, yes, we are definitely having fun. So but it’s the it’s, the not writing on the card, you know, because we’re not in the far east, it doesn’t matter. Well, again, i always say take don’t take the bus leaving, the rest were gone and i got the window, okay, but my point is because sometimes if you write on someone’s card, you know, a lot of times then you know it gets lost or whatever i say take it back, put it into your database or wherever you keep your information and that’s really what you need to dio and then put down your notes. So i’m putting my notes elsewhere. Now, if i’m in the midst of the conversation and it’s a lengthy one, as you suggested, then i’m saying, as i’ve done you mind if i take a few notes? So i need to have a little piece of scrap paper with many scrap paper? Nice little, you know, booklet being admonished again. I i’m screwing this up so badly that you’re going to make me a hermit. I never got to see this is never going to another. You could take scrap paper. It’s. Okay, but my point is, i take a little like all these wonderful little, you know, mole skin, but yeah, they’re pretty they make a much more efficient for station pieces. They make a professional appearance. Of course. All right, you’re straightening me out there, not admonishing. Okay, let me send a little live listener love out to maywood, maywood, new jersey. I have relatives in maywood, and that could be them. I don’t know. That’s grove street in maywood, new jersey. Then that would be my aunt uncle, but could be anywhere else made with the big town maywood, new jersey live listener love. And also hey, fay, china that’s. Not that’s, not in wyoming. I don’t mean. Hey, fay, china, wyoming. I mean the city of hay faye in the country of china as well. And were very apropo to send live listener love teo to our asian listeners because we’re talking about the business card and how it’s revered and how sloppy i am at events know that you’re you’re saying it makes very good sense what i did use those in a little bit now feeling defensive, you know, that’s very bad i would those little scraps i would take in the corner on it was actually not a scrap. I mean, i would have, like, a legal pad, a couple pages, and i would have it folded, but i would go off into the corner and make my notes there, but i like i like the idea of doing it face to face with the person and having a little conversational, beautiful piece of stationery that i’m writing on or some herbal note, because it makes the other person sometimes feel well, you know what i’m saying is really important, and you’re taking an interest this guy’s a big shot. Look at this cool look, it’s called a notebook people, and i always ask permission of stock it absolutely right. I’m with you. Yeah, i’m the crash one and you know i don’t know there’s different kinds of people. Yes, we can meet absolute have them identified, categorized where those with those types of people. Okay, well, after i’ve done my own research on the people i’d like to meet if i have, i’ve identified them, so i’ve already done my homework, but i may not get to meet them, so i always want to be prepared. I walk in the door, right? The greeter is right there if i’ve had in any kind of conversation with that person in advance. It’s wonderful to be able to say hi, so great to meet you in person because you have done the previous i’m coming. I might not know too many people. If not, i still seek that person out just so i can introduce myself busy though i am not going to spend a lot of time, but you go over and say hello. I just wanted to introduce myself. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to the event and then come back at the end also to say thank you. Okay, simple talk to the people that are in front of you and behind you in line when you’re checking. In because just to say hello, what brings you to the event? So at least start conversations, people usually that air standing by the food at the bar? Isn’t it true? Yeah, great places just to walk over to people because it’s all about starting the conversation of working, the impression is very collegial around the food table you’re sharing force and well, serving for their not shaking or you’re just talking, everybody gets their own eating. Forget my events in-kind events you’re running, but i don’t know that’s an idea, but we’re also we’re only sharing the serving fork, so but literally there’s a physical sharing it is sharing the table space around which you’re walking, you started cos bar you’ve got your elbows on the bar? Yeah, so you’re sharing and basically all you’re doing, especially for people who get intimidated a lot of times about events saying, oh, who do i talk? Teo this’s. Perfect, because you could just start a conversation. Hello? What brings you here? Open ended questions would always have your exit strategy, then exit strategy thing. The other thing is people who are by themselves, you know, there was always somebody standing or sitting alone and we’ve all been there, so i always will walk up to somebody and start a conversation with them. Also, if you’re in an event when i’m there, the odds are that guy standing alone is gonna be named tony martignetti looked out, we know it’s a lot of that’s great, so i actually do engage, but now that’s a very friendly thing to do because people who are standing alone, you know, they don’t know what to do with their hands have a drink in one hand, the other hand is in their pocket or ah, there, you know, feigning using their phone, which i know you’re that’s bad, i mean, definitely should be disconnected when you’re walking into an event supposed princessa you don’t really want to be distracted right in the midst of a conversation, even if even if there’s a tone going off and you ignore it, it’s still just, you know, it’s a distraction, right? It is, but but these people standing alone, they’re they’re fainting, using mail checking, you know, you can walk up to them and saying, of course, well, what’s, the worst right? And they’re not going to give you the worst know it wasn’t really that great there alone don’t who are there other categories of people that we threw? The other group is like if there’s everybody’s engaged and there’s, we’ve talked to all the other we’ve talked about then i always say, walk up to a group now, not to people, because two people could be having are having a conversation so you don’t want to interrupt, you know, want to stand there, but if it’s three or more people just walk up and i do this all day, that teo and i will stand there usually they know you’re there after a few settlements, right? And i’ll say something like, you look like the friendliest group here, i hope it’s okay, that i came over here alone and i never tried that, all right? I just weighed on my way in because naturally, the group will start, expand and allow you in people just do that. I mean it so’s but that’s a good one. This looked like the most interesting group. But then if you go to the group next to them, you can’t, you know, because then you can use another life or something. Like that or else by that time, you could bring over, say, tony, i’d like to introduce you to or do you know, the people over there with it’s walk over together? And isn’t that a key sort of seeming like the host you’re trying to take over from those who want to seem like making connections so little boy about exactly and that’s? Why i always take on that premise in my mind that i want to be the host or hostess when i walk in for myself. So i want to greet people and be open and everything, and also because i’m an introvert, i’m a learned that you are martignetti learned extra that’s well, that’s very encouraging for the twenty percent of people who who said they don’t do their research and actually related to that. I asked another question, preshow you’re at a professional conference and you’re the last person through the lunch buffet. There are two seats left, one is at a table of strangers. The other is a solo seat at a small table all by itself. Where will you sit? Eighty percent said they would sit at the table, strangers twenty percent said they would set up the solo table, so for that for that twenty percent that we’re talking to, so you’re meaning that they’d sit by themselves instead of sitting at a table of strangers, and then i set it up solo table, so there’s nobody’s going to sit with them. So so now for your for the person who’s dahna needs to be a learned, extroverted what’s your advice there because that’s that’s you i exactly, i would say, you know, you need to have your own kind a pep talk in your mind that when you walk in and say, you know what, i’m going to jump out of my comfort zone, and i’m going to sit with some other people i don’t know because what’s the purpose of going and sitting by myself, i’m there to learn and to meet and connect with people and say that to yourself. And if you ask the person next to you, you know, has this seat been taken? Obviously is open so you can just perfect opportunity to say hello to the person on your left person on your right and just daughter conversation, but just if you think about learning e-giving sharing and asking open ended, high gain types of questions to the people, then it’s not scary, then you don’t have to focus on yourself, okay? And small talk is has a place in this right? Small talk is big talk you say to the person is a seat open. Okay, now you’ve already opened the conversation, right? So that’s, the first person why is small talk big talk? Because that starts the conversation report and everything like that and just be open and observing and aware. So the person sitting next may, maybe they’re all talking to people. Eventually there’ll be a lull in the conversation. So while i’m watching, i’m observing and then i might just say to somebody, you know, i couldn’t help, but over here, would you mind if i, you know, offered a piece of advice on that or something? And a lot of times you get into that situation, i’m thinking of the sitting at the sitting in a seat table, strangers people start looking at you, whether they’re in a conversation or not, they start to recognize that you’re they’re just like when you’re in the in the bar area, you know? Milling in joining that group, people will start. Teo will start to recognize yes, but it’s also, you know, when you sit down and you’re the last person to sit down it’s like you make a presence right there by doing that, so even if they’re all talking to each other, you know, you sit for a minute or two, but then you just start the conversation they know you’re there being an extra vert can be learned it’s very much learned. I talked about that a lot, okay, you mentioned the exit exit strategy. All right, so now we’ve been in a minute conversation a little too long, andi were sort of getting back to small talk now, like now we’ve now we’ve exhausted goodcompany ation and we’re back talking about the weather and traffic what’s my for that if we’re going to follow-up i always say there’s four things to do in every conversation learn something about the other person. So you tell me your name. Tell me a little bit about you. I want to focus on you, the other person give something. So maybe something you told me. I could give you a piece of advice. You know, tony there’s an article that you might be interested with your permission, would it be okay to send it to you? And then i would always ask you, your preferred method of communication if we were going to stay in touch, so take something away, and then if we were going to stay in touch, find a reason to follow-up say, you know, you said you’re an email person, would it be okay to reach out to you the e mail in the next week or so? Maybe set up a coffee or something? And then it’s been great meeting you enjoy the rest of your time here? Or i might say, my time’s already been well spent. Thank you so much for the conversation enjoyed the rest where i might say, tony, i don’t know if you’ve met so and so and put the two of you together and then walk away, right? Andrea, i’m gonna believe you gave about thirty five tips in this time that we’ve spent together, so people will have to go back and listen to the podcast and take notes because incredible advice. We just have about a minute before we have to depart, tell me the name of a couple of your books, non stop networking had improved your life, working career, million dollar networking a sure way to find, grow and keep your business. And i’m very proud about the book that’s coming out networking for veterans, which was done in conjunction with military and it’s coming out on veterans day. And can we find all information about that at nierenberg group dot com? Right? Andrea, i’m going to take so i’ll take a look at the time because this is really very important to me. Tell me what it is that you love about the advice that you give the work that you’re doing around this subject that we’re talking about, because it’s, you know, i was an old dale carnegie instructor if anyone ever read that years ago in the book how to win friends and influence people, and it was very, very important to me because i was always very shy. When i moved to new york, i said, i’ve gotto really put myself out there and build my business and do everything i was going to, and i always hear my wonderful dad up in heaven. Saying to me, read that book and then take the course, and i became an instructor while i was a publisher during the day and that’s that’s a long time ago, because i started my business nineteen years ago. But mr carnegie’s advice is everyday common sense, and this is what networking really is. If you look at it about giving first being a resource and sharing with people and making friends building trust simple. Andrea nirenberg is president of nuremberg consulting group nierenberg group. Dot com. Andrew, thank you so much for being a guest. Thank you, been a pleasure. Stay with me, tony’s, take two, and then any sample war. It kicks off her new status as contributor. When we talk about get engaged, one and i have a feeling he’s going to a lot of overlap between andrews conversation and amy’s conversation. Stay with us. Talking alternative radio, twenty four hours a day. Joined the metaphysical center of new jersey and the association for hyre awareness for two exciting events. The small live just minutes from new york city in pompton plains, new jersey, dr judith orloff will address her bestseller, emotional freedom, and greg brady will discuss his latest book, deep truth living on the edge. Are you ready for twelve twenty one twelve? Save the dates. Judith orloff, october eighteenth and greg brady in november ninth and tenth. For early bird tickets, visit metaphysical center of newjersey dot, or or a h a n j dot net. Are you suffering from aches and pains? Has traditional medicine let you down? Are you tired of taking toxic medications, then come to the double diamond wellness center and learn how our natural methods can help you to hell? Call us now at to one to seven to one eight, one eight three that’s to one to seven to one eight one eight three or find us on the web at www dot double diamond wellness dot com way. Look forward to serving you. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Dahna if you have big ideas but an average budget, tune into tony martignetti non-profit radio for ideas you can use. I do. I’m dr. Robert penna, author of the non-profit outcomes toolbox. Welcome back to big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent time now for tony’s, take two. My block this week is perseverance. Last weekend, i did the tunnel to towers five k in here in new york city it’s ah, memorial event for a firefighter who ran through the brooklyn battery tunnel on his way to the burning the world trade center towers on september eleventh, two thousand one. And he was last seen at the corner of west and liberty streets that’s the last time he was seen alive. And so that’s what? The race starts on the brooklyn side of the tunnel and goes to west and liberty streets. And there was a there are a lot of wounded warriors walking that, um, that five k and one of them. I don’t know his name, but he moved me. He had lost in one of our wars, both legs and an arm, and he had those they’re called either j legs or sea legs. They’re called both the artificial limbs below his thighs and also had an artificial arm, and he was followed by someone who had is a wheelchair with them one of the very high tech wheelchairs, but he did not need it. He had it following him, but he never used it. And just watching him come through the tunnel. A zay was going past him, gave me chills and made me think about perseverance. And so in all our work lives and our personal lives as well. In honor of that very wounded warrior, i encourage you to persevere and that’s on my block, which is at tony martignetti dot com. And that is tony’s take two for friday, october fifth forty second show of the year with me now is amy sample ward as a snu status as regular social media contributor. Last time she was here was the one hundredth show in july. She is membership director for in ten the non-profit technology network and she’s a blogger for stanford social innovation review. Any sample word? Welcome back. Thank you. I didn’t know you were going to make me cry today. Oh, yeah, it was very human moving you just like long stride in. I was there with you. You know, you were painting a picture. Well, good radio is an intimate coming. I’m very glad of that. Heimans we’re talking today about getting engaged and engagement, of course, in online networks, this is all sort of setting the right kind of tone for our for our work online, right? Yeah, i’m so surprised how much andrea already stole our thunder for this conversation. I feel vastly under equipped. I’m not here with bucks and i don’t have a toolbox don’t like really great tweet oppcoll phrases i don’t have any of that, so we could just bring her back. No, you know what you’re doing very model, you know what you’re doing so let’s, apply your lessons, which overlap with hers. Teo teo online. What? We’re going to have the right kind of tone yeah are are working in the networks i think a lot of organizations, when they’re thinking about either starting profiles or getting them more active, the question they have is, well, what do we talk about what we do, what we say, you know, because they know that just re posting content from their website isn’t very engaging, but they’re also like, well, at least we have that content so that’s something, you know, they don’t know what to do, but just like what? Andrea? Had listed off at the end, you know, be the resource for the community, build trust start the conversation because maybe they’re just following twitter and they’re not saying anything. You don’t know what to say, you know that all those principles apply online and not that, like that’s all that you’re ever going to do? I mean, we’re going to keep talking about engagement for a few segments, you know, there’s more that you can do to build that up, but when you’re just starting and at first and as your default, you know, one today, make sure you are being a resource to the community post something that isn’t your own content, but, you know, is something that people are looking for or is in the news, et cetera and make introductions you don’t have to just tweet hey, everyone, follow me. Maybe one day you can also tweet hey, i’m at the sky at the conference today. Tony’s great follow him that’s about example but way understand the larger concept. Yes, well, that’s what that’s, what followed friday is all about? I don’t know if you use the hashtag ff follow friday you’re supposed to encourage your followers to follow people that you find interesting. Yeah, and i love it when i actually see organizations do it. That’s, of course that’s on twitter buy-in andi, you know, just with the pound sign and an ff and saying, you know, hear other organizations also fighting the fight with us or or whatever and showing that it’s not about them, not the only ones in this important during this important work. Here’s other great u turns out someone else cares about cancer, who knew? You know that there’s always other other organizations, and it doesn’t have to be the people you have. Ah, you know, standing partnership, mou with and it’s a real thing about jargon jail? Yes. Memo of understanding yes, first time, but not if but you know, it’s it’s, not people that you have to recommend. Yeah, but if i am a charity, why would i be if i was being devil’s advocate? Cause i do agree with what you’re saying. If i’m a charity, why am i going? Encourage my followers to follow other organizations that they might then start volunteering with go to their walk, run, start donating to them what i am going to take that chance. So that is a great segway into actual data that we can talk about. S o markgraf bitters, strength of weak ties, which is back from the seventies. But it is great and still still alive and well today from the seventies. So he identified four components of what he calls tie strength. And one of the four is reciprocity, so saying and setting the tone and showing that you are so confident and at home in this whole ecosystem of other organizations, that you’re willing to recommend other organisations, you’re willing to point out the research that someone else did. That’s actually the research maybe your community was looking for and you just don’t do that research, you know, so creating the reciprocity being the first one to do it so others no. Hey, it’s. Okay, we can actually work together in this eyes, one of those four components to actually bring the community together and strengthen it. Okay. I want to get to the others in a very brief second baguettes and live listener love teo schenectady, new york upstate new york’s connected e is that where i believe that’s? Where union colleges that was one of the colleges that rejected me nineteen eighty among it’s, it’s, a long and distinguished list of colleges that rejected me. Union college was among the my beliefs connected in new york. I’m pretty sure seoul, seoul, south korea welcome and rifle colorado. I love it. I love it. Rifle welcome live listener love out there. What are gary’s other? Wait, wait, mark. Exactly. I’m sure one of them is probably active listening good being a good active and attentive listener. Sorry, sorry. Mark so the other 3 and these still tying to some of what andrew was saying earlier trust time and intensity. So how are you building trust being transparent, showing that you have, you know, confidence in the other people, whether that’s the community saying, you know, giving you feedback and you actually saying yes, i heard you and that’s great feedback time, so not just posting at noon and then never engaging the rest of the day, you know, because it’s not you’re not going. You’re not spending much time with people, and it doesn’t mean that you have to literally have facebook open all day long and your chest watching facebook but it means once you post something, maybe check back in in two hours because if people commented, they don’t want to see it took you two days to notice that the comment, you know so doesn’t have to be ah lot amount of time, it’s just the consistent time, you know, on then last is the intensity, so don’t just reply and say thanks, thanks, you know, on twitter blogger exactly you want to actually read what they tweeted to you and then respond to the message? Okay, so thanks for that comment or, you know if someone posted on your organization’s facebook wall say, oh, that’s a great idea, here’s what i think of it or, you know, have some substance tow how you’re replying because a lot of organizations think, well, we’ll just right. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Every time someone retweets us and yeah, they do get the feeling of the you got it. But then they look at your twitter stream and i go. So you just say thanks no matter what you know, like you could automate that and the robots of the internet could do it for you so making it really human bon ce again. Just strengthens that connection, okay? I think another way would be if we talk about facebook clicking like all the time and giving again there. One word, you know, thanks. Whatever, but rather than just clicking like i mean, like, so good, i mean, there’s a value in like, but you don’t you don’t just stop there every time, exactly, exactly. And sometimes alike is all you can do. Sometimes someone post just thanks to you. Well, just hitting like that is great. You know what? An eye for an eye i but if someone took the time to write a thoughtful comment or to try and give you a suggestion, they want more than a thanks or or a like, you know? Okay, now you talked earlier about engagement and and i want to talk about certainly beings a little open this around engaged, posting things that are appropriate for openness and transparency on the sort of on the governance non-technical side. But they also translate to engagement on the social media side what’s your advice around some of those, like the nine, ninety and things. Yeah, i think it’s i definitely think everyone should post their nineties because at the end of the day, they are publicly available, so it isn’t that people couldn’t find it out about you putting it on your website. I mean, the number of people that would download it is still very small, but the fact that you are being transparent and forthcoming sets a much better tone. We’ve even had people at inten email us and say, oh, my gosh, i saw on this page that you’re nine, ninety is visible i think i think that was a mistake to really have your way, and we’ve had to reply and say yes, we put it there. We want you, by the way, you could have got it from the state attorney general likely our star star scott go. Exactly. Okay, so what else? What else besides the nine? Ninety? So i also think that there’s, you know, other than that one time of year when you have the nine ninety, there are lots of times that you could be sharing things openly in a way that isn’t just here. We put it up on the website. But we want you to engage with us around this like we just got a grant. And this is what we’re hoping to do with it and, you know, here’s, the plan, whatever join us on a call to talk about all that we’re going to do in this community with this new gripped, you know, it gives recognition to the funder, which, hey, what funder does not love recognition, but it also sets the tone again from the beginning that, hey, you’re, we expect you to care about what we’re doing, and we’re going to give you the opportunity to you hear about it firsthand for, you know, as we’re getting started, not a report two years later, and we want your feedback doesn’t mean you have to use every single piece of feedback, but you’re giving them a platform to connect with you from the very beginning of that of that program, the one that troubles me i see often is a list of board members that’s typical, but just a list of names here’s, our board and then he is this is president, the chair of the board, the treasure but there’s no little little bio mean, yeah, you know, i don’t want their home addresses, but give me a little richness and what? What their help me connect with your board so that i can see what makes them passionate about your work. Exactly. And i think, you know, a lot of organizations have tried to make their staff page very engaging. You know, like here is the email address for this person or here’s, the twitter account for the team or whatever. But then you go to the board page and, like you say, it’s, just a list of names, why not connect to their linked in profile or it doesn’t have to be again, yeah, doesn’t it to be there home phone number, but give it something so that you recognize it is a social space we’re working in and people could look that up linked in profile is a great idea. They’re about paige about dot com something exactly some depth. Okay, um, let’s, take a break, and when we come back, of course, amy sample ward stays with me, and i hope you do, too. Talking. Hi, this is nancy taito from speaks band radio speaks been radio is an exploration of the world of communication, how it happens in how to make it better because the quality of your communication has a direct impact on the quality of your life. Tune in monday’s at two pm on talking alternative dot com, where i’ll be interviewing experts from business, academia, the arts and new thought join me mondays at two p m and get all your communications questions answered on speaks been radio. Have you ever considered consulting a road map when you feel you need help getting to your destination when the normal path seems blocked? A little help can come in handy when choosing an alternate route. Your natal chart is a map of your potential jules it addresses relationships, finance, business, health and, above all, creativity. Current planetary cycles can either support or challenge your objectives. I’m montgomery taylor. If you would like to explore the help of a private astrological reading, please contact me at monte at monty taylor dot com let’s monte m o nt y monty taylor dot com how’s your game want to improve your performance, focus and motivation? Than you need. Aspire, athletic, consulting, stop second guessing yourself. Move your game to the next level, bring back the fun of the sport, help your child build confidence and self esteem through sports. Contact dale it aspire, athletic consulting for a free fifteen minute power session to get unstuck. Today, your greatest athletic performance is just a phone call away at eight a one six zero four zero two nine four or visit aspire consulting. Dot vp web motivational coaching for athletic excellence aspire to greatness, buy-in. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com. We’re talking about online engagement with segments called get engaged one because there’s going to be and get engaged too, and maybe get engaged three with new social media contributor amy sample ward. You want to create a tone that is open and encouraging to how do we how do we encourage people to post and comment? Well, a lot of organizations, i think, struggle with that because they are waiting for it to happen magically, like this engagement fairy is going to go about their community, and then everyone is just going to give them lots of ideas. So part of it is, you know, asking questions versus just posting here is thie information, you know? What do you think about it or we’re thinking about doing, you know, every friday we have ah, staff brainstorm, what do you do on fridays? You know, things that don’t require you to go research something to come back with a response, you know, that starts to build ah, little bit of engagement over time, and then people just get used to talking with you in that space, but the other part of it that’s a little bit more proactive is actually listening to the community, see? See who else is out there that maybe follows you that every time they post a question, everybody starts replying, you know? And and just an influencer exactly. And using the word influencer jargon jail whenever it’s called lawrence was perfectly fund-raising jail. So but there are rules. There are boundaries and rules on this show. Only i put people in jogging owes your first time. I think we’re changing the rules. We’re gonna have trouble all right? Down, sir. And influence or influences? Yes, but i think that that word has gotten overused by, like, you know, just by certain platforms that are supposed to just magically calculate, you know, what’s your influence of influence school and all of those things. And people forget that it’s totally contextual. You may have someone that has five followers, but every time they post every one of those five followers responds, and someone could have five thousand followers and that a single person did anything you know. So just because that person has, quote unquote more clout because so many more people follow them and yeah, exactly. And they’re connected to so many other people that have lots of followers, that person that gets everyone of their followers to take action every time. Well, they have way more influence in my book, you know? So don’t just look people up, and then look how many twitter followers they haven’t think, oh, great, they’re on our influence or less, but really look at who’s, who tweeted your blah glink that got everyone to click through, you know who posted about you on facebook and had all their friends like it, et cetera, and then connect with those people personally, like send them an email or, you know, facebook, messenger or whatever and say, we know that you’re amazing, the community listens to you, you know, you’re you’re so smart, whatever pump them up on, then say we’re wondering if maybe you wanted to give some of your insights about this project we’re doing, and for the next two days, you know, you could post about it and and will put put it on our facebook page or you can tweet for us from this event we’re doing tonight. So they’re tweeting from your organizational account and from their own, and so all of those people that normally respond. Are now responding to the organization’s account, you know, so it builds their credibility as well. I’m i’m so smart and recognize that, you know, i’ve been tapped for this, but you get a steal a little bit of that is an organization, you know, i’m going to guess you don’t think much of the there is a there is a site that i mentioned a cloud with a k k o ut where once in a while, you know, you get something you got somebody give you plus one crate chaos on for professionalism or something. I’m going to guess you don’t think too much of people’s klout scores, i do not write, okay? Because i don’t i don’t think it takes into consideration the context, you know, like i was saying it it’s such a rudimentary kind of algorithm, and you go in there and i’ll be ranked with someone that i’ve never heard of with the same score on the same topic, and i think, well, either my score now is really low cause i don’t know that person or it’s totally inflated, and we’ve never met, you know? And so what? It just doesn’t make sense. Okay, especially when you can earn points by bringing people into the platform. I don’t think that algorithm works. All right, why don’t you leave us? We with a parting thought about engagement, something way haven’t talked about yet, i how about a challenge? And then we can talk about that in the next segment, so i would say for the next month, try to ask some questions and then next time we can talk about what you do after that what’s, the next step up the ladder, now that you’re asking questions scene, if people are responding, what kinds of questions do they answer their questions? That is just crickets, you know, eso try and pay attention to what about the question, you know, is different for the ones that are responding, and once that don’t get response and the next time we’ll talk about the action part. Okay, exactly next time, which will be get engaged to will be the call to action. Exactly. Amy sample ward, our social media scientist blogger for the stanford social innovation innovation review membership director for intend the non-profit technology network and her sight is aimee mann sample war dot org’s or dot com they both direct. Okay, amy, sample ward dot ford and you forgot one important title, which is the new est jargon jail keeper? No, i didn’t forget that was actually intentionally left that we’re gonna have trouble with boundaries. You’ve just created such an open, collaborative environment. There are limits, teo. Everything you’re going to learn this. Ok, thank you very much for being in studio a real pleasure and my thanks. Also, of course, to andrea nirenberg next week, your year end campaign. I was a blackbaud its conference b b con on monday, just this past in washington, d c and next week i’ll play the first of eight interviews that i did at that conference. This one will help you plan your year end campaign, and this is not a coincidence to see how now we’re in the fourth quarter. It’s october year end. You see this? This doesn’t just happen. These things have actually thought about strategically. Our legal team returns also next week. Gene takagi and emily chan from the non-profit exempt organizations law group in san francisco. What will they have? If you join the linked in group, you’ll know before the show because i don’t know yet and the linked in group, of course we have people from washington, d, c, peoria, illinois, and south carolina and pakistan. Are you in angie nierenberg when she departed actually told me oftheir that she’s going to posts a resource checklist on the linked in group and also the facebook page? So go to the lincoln group to find that i have my chronicle of philanthropy podcast called fund-raising fundamentals it’s a ten minute monthly podcast you’ll find on the chronicle of philanthropy website. You’ll also find it on itunes, wishing you good luck the way performers do around the world this week in estonian nail comey niall comey, may you get a nail in your tire i don’t know why the estonians want that it’s better than the other things i can think of. But just across the baltic from stock home is estonia, and on behalf of them, i’m wishing you a week of nail gumi our creative producers claire meyerhoff sam liebowitz, our line producer. The show’s social media is by regina walton of organic social media, and there are boat producer of tony martignetti non-profit radio is john federico of the new rules. I do hope you’ll be with me next week. One to two p, m eastern. Talking alternative dot com handup. I didn’t think that shooting. Good ending thing. You’re listening to the talking alternative network waiting to get in. Nothing. You could. Hi, this is nancy taito from speaks been radio speaks been radio is an exploration of the world of communication, how it happens in how to make it better, because the quality of your communication has a direct impact on the quality of your life. Tune in monday’s at two pm on talking alternative dot com, where i’ll be interviewing experts from business, academia, the arts and new thought. Join me mondays at two p m and get all your communications questions answered on speaks been radio. Are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three that’s to one to seven to one eight one eight three the conscious consultant helping huntress people be better business people. You’re listening to talking alternative network at www dot talking alternative dot com, now broadcasting twenty four hours a day. Oh, this is tony martignetti athlete named host of tony martignetti non-profit radio. Big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent technology fund-raising compliance, social media, small and medium non-profits have needs in all these areas. My guests are expert in all these areas. And mohr. Tony martignetti non-profit radio friday’s one to two eastern on talking alternative broadcasting. Are you concerned about the future of your business for career? Would you like it all to just be better? Well, the way to do that is to better communication. And the best way to do that is training from the team at improving communications. This is larry sharp, host of the ivory tower radio program and director at improving communications. Does your office need better leadership? Customer service sales or maybe better writing are speaking skills? Could they be better at dealing with confrontation conflicts, touchy subjects all are covered here at improving communications. If you’re in the new york city area, stopped by one of our public classes or get your human resource is in touch with us. The website is improving communications, dot com that’s improving communications, dot com improve your professional environment, be more effective be happier and make more money. Improving communications. That’s. The answer. Talking.

066: A Conversation With Andrea Kihlstedt – Tony Martignetti Nonprofit Radio

Tony’s guest this week:

Andrea Kihlstedt, co-founder of AskingMatters.com and author of “How to Raise $1 Million (or More!) in 10 Bite-Sized Steps”

Read and watch more on Tony’s blog: http://mpgadv.com

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Dahna welcome to tony martignetti non-profit radio i’m your aptly named host. We’re always talking here about big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent. I sincerely hope you were with me last week for nine weeks and a wake up for essentials for your year end fund-raising that was mary allison principle of oneaccord, and she helped you out in the final stretch toward year end. We talked about segmenting and messaging, social media and other online strategies, direct mail and getting volunteers to pitch in everything that she suggested from last week could be executed quickly to get you the help you need before december thirty first and also was your mobile website, our tech contributor scott koegler, the editor of non-profit technology news. Of course, you know that broke down. Whether you need a mobile site, how to develop one and what to include to make yours spiffy and up to date this week. It’s assess your asking style. My guest is andrea kill, stead and she’s going to reveal what it means to be a rain maker or a go getter, which are two of the four asking styles profiled at asking matters dot com, which she co founded how do you prepare for a solicitation based on your asking style? How should different styles be paired together for an ask? What do you how do you support your volunteers and what do they need based on their asking styles? And we’ll also talk about one of her books how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps at roughly thirty two minutes after the hour on tony’s take two. I’m going to talk about the next-gen charity two thousand eleven conference my block post this week says that it will provoke your greatness. Talk about that that’s conferences on november seventeenth and eighteenth and also the results of my challenge from last week. Let’s help kelly for pete’s sake, that was a blogger post challenge. We’re live tweeting this week and we have a guest live tweeter in a dare oklahoma! Thank you very much for stepping in to lead the way on twitter, ian welcome use hashtag non-profit radio to join that conversation on twitter right now we have a couple of messages and after those, i’ll be joined by andrea kill stead we’re going to talk about assessing your asking. Style. And i hope you will stay with me. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Dahna are you suffering from aches and pains? Has traditional medicine let you down? Are you tired of taking toxic medications, then come to the double diamond wellness center and learn how our natural methods can help you to hell? Call us now at to one to seven to one eight, one eight three that’s to one to seven to one eight one eight three or find us on the web at www dot double diamond wellness dot com way. Look forward to serving you. Is your marriage in trouble? Are you considering divorce? Hello, i’m lawrence bloom, a family law attorney in new york and new jersey. No one is happier than the day their divorce is final. My firm can help you. We take the nasty out of the divorce process and make people happy. Police call a set to one, two, nine six four three five zero two for a free concert station. That’s lawrence h bloom two, one, two, nine, six, four, three, five zero two. We make people happy. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com all right, welcome back to tony martignetti non-profit radio big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent with me now is andrea kill stead she’s, a consultant, writer and trainer in fund-raising she’s, the co founder of asking matters dot com and has written two books on fund-raising capital campaigns strategies that work was published by jones and bartlett and is now in its third edition. Her more recent book is how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps published by emerson and church. I’m very pleased that andres work brings it to the show and dry welcome. Thank you, tony it’s a pleasure to be here on go have you we’re talking about asking for gift? Why does someone’s asking style even matter? There is many styles as there are individuals, and when we get into the mode of saying there’s, one way to ask for a gift, we ing for sure increased people’s anxiety and we know that anxiety doesn’t help us help us function in the best way we might. So we came up with a system at asking matters, dividing people into four simple quadrants and encouraging them to ask in the in the style that fits the best, the best asks they’re the ones that authentic that are authentic. And if you ask in an authentic way, you’re likely to connection most effectively to your donor asking style system is set up to help people do that. Is there a psychological basis to the four different types of stuff that the four different styles? Well, i’m certainly not the first person to be talking about stiles myers briggs is the one most people know there’s the disc system of styles. There are a variety of other style systems. I think i’m the first person to take a the notion of styles and apply it to asking there are different between the four quadrants there to two different sets of measures wanted to explain those intuitive etcetera yes, the asking style system is set up on two simple access. If you draw a actually see there’s the technical term actually that’s right, draw a vertical axis on a piece of paper and i invite all of you to do this and at the top. You put down extra virgin at the bottom. You put down introvert. Most of us have some. Notion of which of those we are, so mark yourself as an extroverted and introvert. Then in the middle of that line, draw a horizontal axis line of aboutthe same length and on the right hand side, put down intuitive on on the left hand side, put down analytical that most of us have some sense of which of those we are. If you’re intuitive, you tend to come up with an idea and then see if the world backs you up. You tend to have a gut level about your ideas and big thoughts. If your analytical, you tend to look at the world that the details, and you see what ideas those details amount to collectively. So if you mark yourself on the on the vertical axis and on the horizontal axis, and then you dry drop box around the whole thing, it’ll give you four boxes and lo and behold, for stiles. Okay? And what are the four styles? So in the upper left hand quadrant, where you’re an extrovert and analytic your rainmaker to the right of that where your extra vert and intuitive you’re a go getter underneath go getters? You’re a kindred spirit and to the left of kindred spirit, those are people who are analytical and introvert, those air mission controllers. All right, now i took the asking matters survey, which takes its like, takes like two or three minutes, all right, thirty questions, true false questions, verse and very short on dh. I admit that i spent too long, i think, on some of them. I tried to follow the advice on the site, which says, give your first answer, where there were a couple that i that hung me up. So i’m i found out that i am equally kindred spirit and mission controller, but i was, i was aspiring to go get her. I wanted to be a go getter, so is there. Can you can you have two and aspire to a third? You are, i think everyone should aspire to go get her, okay. So what is the what is the meaning of? I guess i’ll be a little selfish and start with myself. What’s the meaning of ah, a kindred spirit. A solicitor. What does that mean for me? Yes. You know, the kindred spirits among us are the people who think of themselves least as solicitors, but tend to be very good at it because they hang back just a minute before they respond. Which gives the donor and opportunity to talk. And most of us know in the solicitation business, our primary errors that we talked too much. So the people who are who are introverts ten believe a little more air time, very effective and very successful. Way to solicit gift. So my mother was wrong. I don’t talk too much. You know, your mother may have talked too much to her, but i do. Woodstock. Listen, i hope she’s listening. I bet you’re not even listening. You’re not even listening to me saying that i listen, you believe the irony in that? Um okay. Well, that’s cool on dh there’s. Something good there’s. Good news for everybody, right? All four quadrants? Yes. Have have things that are our styles. That people can bring and are valuable to soliciting right that’s, right? I bring up the kindred spirit in particular. Because when we see people who hold back a little more a little more reticent, we tend to think that there they may not be the the sales people among us. But i think both kindred spirits and mission controllers can be fantastic solicitors at least as good as rainmakers and go getters. Okay, she’s bucking for the road. She’s bucking for more air time. But you have the whole hour you’re on. You’re not going anywhere. Okay, so then just a little, but we have a minute or so before break what’s. Ah, mission controller, which is my other one? Yes, a mission controller. I happen to be married to a mission controller, so i know that style particularly well, but it’s, not me. A full disclosure. And jay and i are not married. I know. That’s. True that’s. True. Eso mission controllers are the people who are so responsible. They do all of their homework. They like details. They were read the budget. They’ll want to know all of the numerical information about outcomes. The one on how much it costs, they will gather every piece of information before they go in, solicit a gift, they’ll make a careful plan, they might even write some out, and they will execute it the same way every time so you can count on them. If they say they’re going to do something, they’re likely to do it when they say they’re going to do it the way they say they say they’re going to do it. Fantastic people they have on your team. This is such an ego rush. I’m dying here, okay? We’re live tweeting in a dare in oklahoma city, you better not have tweeted that andre and i are not married. That is not a critical part of the show. You should not be tweeting stuff like that. So you’re doing it wrong if you treated that, i don’t know if you did. We are monitoring here, but i just haven’t taken a look yet on before we take a break. I want to share just some survey results from the from the pre show survey that was on my block. Question one do you consider personality type when assigning relationship managers to a prospect? So not? The ask yet. But just in assigning for relationship management, two thirds said yes, they do, and one third do not. We have some messages. When we come back, andrea kill states. They was with me, and i hope you all do, too, because you didn’t think that shooting getting, thinking, you’re listening to the talking alternate network, duitz get me thinking. It’s. Are you stuck in your business or career, trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, a conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping hunters. People be better business people. Hi, this is psychic medium. Betsy cohen, host of the show. The power of intuition. Join me at talking alternative dot com mondays at eleven a. M call in for a free psychic readings. Learn how to tune into your intuition, to feel better and to create your optimum life. I’m here to guide you and to assist you in creating life that you deserve. Listen every monday at eleven a, m on talking alternative dot com. Are you feeling overwhelmed and the current chaos of our changing times? A deeper understanding of authentic astrology can uncover solutions in every area of life. After all, metaphysics is just quantum physics, politically expressed hi and montgomery taylor and i offer lectures, seminars and private consultations. For more information, contact me at monte m o nt y at r l j media. Dot com talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Lively conversation. Top trends. Sound advice, that’s, tony martignetti non-profit radio. And i’m samantha cohen from the american civil liberties union. Metoo welcome back, we’re live tweeting the show, and if you want to join the conversation on twitter, use hashtag non-profit radio if you have a question that you want to submit for andrea, please please ask on twitter. You can also call where eight seven seven four aito for one two oh again eight, seven, seven, four aito for one two oh, either way, if you have a question for andrea, kill stead, we’re talking about assess your assessing your asking style and andrey, we’ve been through the two that i am the equal kindred spirit in mission controller what’s a rainmaker? Yes, a rainmaker. The people that we think of really is the quintessential sales sales people, these people tend to be competitive goal oriented. They’re the ones who are likely to take the highest, highest value prospects because they want to be sure to get to the goal they will respond to and be happy to hit, to work with and have challenged grants so that they can motivate a donor for the goal. So the people who perhaps are not the ones who were most keen on stories? No, but because they’re both extroverts and analytic, they’ll be very sensitive to the donor, the style of the person they’re talking to, while at the same time having their arms around all of the facts and the details of the case. The sound is valuable to a solicitation as the equal kindred spirit in mission control that i have any other bets. I’m sure that i’m sure the rainmakers are fine, but i don’t think they’re as good as thie combination, kindred spirit and mission controller on how about the one? I said? I aspired to the go getter? I wanted to be a go getter and i failed testing that respect? Yes, it’s not even a test of service. Really it’s an assessment assessment we came we spent a lot of time coming up with that word it’s an assessment it’s nothing more than that. It’s actually fun. It is fun and interesting and easy to take and nothing particularly deeper. Heavy but but worth worth doing, i think or so and so we hear from mother and i’ll just remind people that you’ll find that assessment at asking matters dot com that’s, right? So what does this guy know? What is the go getter? Well, i’m a go getter, we go getters are very good at big ideas. We have a lot of energy, we tend to pull people towards us with our energy and we can take big ideas and make them fairly simple. We like big ideas. We have much less tolerance for detail, and we’re not as good at closing a gift. For example, as a rainmaker would be aura’s a mission controller would be we like the possibilities, right? We like to say one of the possibilities rather than you know, how can we draw this to a close? And how can we get to the goal? So for us, helpful sometimes to pair us up with someone who’s a good closer? Excellent. We’re going talk about pairings to that, like a fine wine and a fine meal. We compare our asking styles. All right, so between the two of us, you and i have three, three covered. So if there’s anyone who knows that there are rainmaker or thinks that there are rainmaker based on what andrea the guy, the guidelines that andrew gave us earlier, why don’t you tweet and tell us that you think you’re a rainmaker and what? That what that brings the table when you are asking so let’s, talk about asking, then we have no one now if we know our style, preparing for the ask so how would different different styles prepare in different ways? Yes, so go getters, they’re going to want to prepare with simple bullet points, they’re not going to read over every annual report for the last five years. They’re not going to look at every detail of the budget they’re going to have simple goose bump inducing asking, ah points about the case and about what it is this organisation does and accomplishes probably from a big picture perspective now would they want to prepare those bullet points on their own? Or is that something that and we’re going to talk more detail later about the charity supporting its solicitors? But in terms of this, this type of person, would they want to prepare those those bullet points on their own or haven’t done for them? They’re always helped if someone can can sit with them and say, here are the bullet points i think about, but a go getter is going to be happy to talk about them, so if you’re if someone is a go getter and you can actually have a five minute conversation saying, what do you find exciting and moving about this organization? Get them to articulate it out loud that will work very well for a go getter. How about the other styles in terms of preparing for that for that important solicitation? Yes, if you’re working with a mission controller, i encourage you to send them a full package of information. Well, in advance of the time you want them to go out and ask for gifts, they will take the time to read it and take the time to master the material. They’re not going to want to go out from one minute to the next you want don’t want to ask him to mark today to go out tomorrow, you’re going to want to give them enough time to really prepare thoroughly it’s in their nature, to want to do that kindred spirits i would spend asked him to spend some time with you on sight, seeing the people you serve. These were people whose hearts are touched by watching the work in the field on they’ll learn from from watching. That’s, right? And they all convey that is exactly right. They too, are not particularly interested in huge amounts of information or detail. They’re interested in the stories that make their hearts warm and the last one we don’t talk about rainmaker. The rainmaker is the rainmakers combine these things they’re good at being charismatic in the same way go getters are, but they’re going to want to master the materials in the same way mission controllers do so give them time, give them information, make sure it’s all organized and systematized so they don’t get frustrated. One of the other survey questions i asked before the show was do you consider personality type when deciding who should ask for a gift? And almost ninety two percent said yes, they definitely do, and then the remainder no, so yes, and let me just say something that i think i think we underestimate the capacity of people who are not the obvious askar sze that’s, one of the neat things about this asking style assessment and and being able to look at each style from what they can do and what we work for them rather than saying some people can do this and some people can’t think that’s a mistake, we we underuse people that way, and we might also base that conclusion on what people say themselves. Oh, i can’t i can’t ask now, that’s different than i don’t want to ask. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. And i mean my own belief is that pretty much anybody can ask and ten can do a good job if you work with them in a way that will support them. So the value of the site is send them and buy them. I guess we’re talking about professional solicitors, right? Professional fund-raising as well as, of course, here’s boardmember staff members, development committee members, anyone who’s thinking about getting involved or being part of your development shop can and should take the assessment. In fact, you can a very interesting conversations with people comparing and contrasting asking styles, and that then gets them talking about asking, you know, it’s, an effective conversation have and fun and fun becomes going around a board room, board table or it doesn’t have to be only the board that’s that’s helping other majors, major donors may be soliciting as well. You know, i found that that there are a number of boardmember boards that have had all the board members take the aston style assessment, and then they have analyzed the board according to asking style, how many do we have? Mission controllers? How many do we have kindred spirits and then had a lively conversation to say, well, what does this do to shape our board and how it functions? Turns out to be pretty rich material and the other party to the solicitation that we haven’t talked about yet is the donor the donor prospect themselves? How would we ah, how would we assess should we figure it out on their on our own? Should we send them to the to the assessment? What do you what’s your life there? Yes, well, it’s always handy if you do know a donor style, of course, and the field we’ve talked some about trying to adapt our style to fit a donor style. I believe that mostly when we’re anxious which most of us are one we solicit, gifts were not very good at being adaptable and mostly we don’t know the donorsearch style, so i think we’re better off starting from a style in which were most comfortable and understanding very simple. This very simple style quadrant system helps us become a little more attuned to how the donor’s responding. So for example, if i’m a go getter and i’m giving big ideas and i see the donorsearch art to ask questions about details, it might dawn on me that he’s a different style than i am, and i might want to provide him with a different kind of information. Do you like to see people take time to try to figure out which style the donor is in advance, or is that really hard to figure out about about someone else? And, you know, there certainly are some donors that we know quite well, and then we could do some kind of an assessment to relating to that if we don’t know a donor well, it’s a pig in a poke, so we might as well go in with our style and have some try to have tried to have some awareness that there are people are donors who who respond differently. Andrea kill state is with me and she’s, the co founder of asking matters dot com we’re talking about assessing your asking style, how about supporting volunteers of the different types? So if someone is the the one that’s not represented between the two of us eyes a rainmaker, how would you? How would the charity support the rain making the rainmaker volunteer before solicitation? Yes, it’s a wonderful question i charity would support a rainmaker by me being sure they had all of the information to review beforehand and well in advance before hand that they know very clearly what the goal is and not only the goal, but even a stretch goal, the rainmakers, they’re going to want to be competitive and they’re going to want to go get to the goal exceeded and even blast through it. So you want to give them something that helps them understand what happens if we go over the goal? Where will that money go? How will we use it? You might want to encourage them to consider making their own gift into a challenge for the people that they’re talking to. Oh, interesting, okay, they’re going to respond to that and rainmakers also like to work in a team. Sometimes an organization in their annual fund, for example, can create teams and have a rainmaker lead a team of two or three solicitors have a little mini competition going between teams. Rainmakers are going to rise to that. Excellent. They love that challenge, you know. Okay, how about your style? The go getter? How would a charity help prepare that person? Yes, i talked to a go getter in advance. Find out what lights that go, get her up and help them talk about it and articulated to other people. If they start practicing their own words, they’ll be set to go. I would not give those people six or eight or even five prospects at a time because they’re not as good organizing, organizing their information as others are, give them one or two, they’ll do it when the mood strikes them and then give them a couple more. So pierre so dull prospects out a little more careful, like the year go getters. One of the survey questions i ask before the show is who is responsible for supporting your volunteer solicitors, which is what we’re talking about now supporting the different asking styles and sort of a mixed bag of about fifty percent said no one person has the responsibility? Actually, that was, um so there’s about sixty percent. Um, and then about twenty five percent said that the only fundraiser in the shop is responsible for that. And another group about the same because people could pick more than one select one choice said i’d better listen to the show because we don’t use volunteers solicitors that was about twenty five percent. You could have a whole show on that. We have, we have witnesses that they should be listened t should listen to the last show. So when we months ago, we talked about firing up your board fund-raising with gail perry who you? Yes, and that goes back some time. But wait, we have covered that so so that the volunteers let me just say that, that that of course, they asked the styles applies equally to two staff, as it does to volunteers on, and i think it’s, i’ve i’ve seen development offices that have had very good and lively, effective conversations, having staff members take the asthma style assessment and talking about how they would then support one another or what kinds of information they needed to be effective solicitors. So this while i think it’s a great thing to use with volunteers. I encourage hill development chops to use it is yeah, yeah, the professionals, of course, yes. Do you have a story that in your own experience as where you really felt that knowing that you’re a go getter helped you in doesn’t have to necessarily be a solicitation, but helped you in some situation? Yes, in a number of ways, as a go getter, i always like to get someone who will support me and the things that i don’t do so well, so i know that i love thinking outside the box. I know that i that i don’t like to be like to tie things down, so if i can have someone come with me and actually tie down and ask, sort of kick me under the table and i’m still blue skying about all the exciting things weaken d’oh, it’s very helpful then, then i just can’t take that. Q. I think i can quiet down a little and have someone else take and bring the gift home very, very effective for me. I ran for many years a concert siri’s and raised all of the money for it actually tickets were free and because it was easier for me to raise money than it was to sell tickets, and when i found was that i couldn’t, i could get people excited about this concert siri’s very easily was harder for me to actually tied down a dollar amount, so i did get some other people to help me with that who were of cover and restart time and complimentary stoploss exactly we’re gonna have some time to talk about those pairings. Those fine pairing let’s see, before we take a break, i’d like to see what the kindred spirit and the mission controller would would. How charity would support those those two styles for for a solicitation, yes, so kindred spirit, you know, one of the ways to support a volunteer or a staff member is to pair them with is to give them prospects that are going to work best for them. Kindred spirits tend to be a little on the shy side. You’re talking about me now because i’m talking about you. They’re fantastically heartfelt people, but it’s a little harder for them to have people say no to them. Oh, that’s definitely rejections the rejections a little tougher than it is for me for example, someone says no to me, i’m just off on the next big idea can’t stand for any spirits. Having someone say no is hard, so my advice about kindred spirits is give them prospects who were going to say yes, actually quite simple to do that right? Don’t send them to the people who are going to say no, why put them in that position? You don’t have to send people out everyone out on our art gall send to go getter, send a rainmaker out on a heart out on a hard call don’t send the kindred spirit, and if they know they’re going to be going to talk to someone who is likely to say yes, it’s going to make them much happier to do it. So you get a whole group of people who were going to be willing this illicit gifts for you because who doesn’t like success? I just even had the most recent experience of that. Five minutes before the show, i went to the bakery that’s a few doors away, and i asked for whether there was still banana bread and she said no, you felt that i took it personal, they were out of them. They were out of the banana bread. I mean, that’s that’s in a president affront to me. Right? So find out what they have before. You can look in the case first, and then i’ll ask that just to get a yes so shallow just to get the yes, i’ll ask now, theo oh, shallow no, i’ve never been secret about that. I’m definitely shallow, shallow. I just made the little shine. Okay, i met shallow have always been shelling do not tweet that tony is shallow. You dare i’ll shut! I’ll shut you off in oklahoma city if you tweet that, put that ok before, but i was just in a minute before break and we didn’t talk about preparing the mission controller. The mission for soliciting. Yes, information, information information well in advance. Let me know exactly what you’re going to want from them and tell them exactly what they need to master. If they’re going to do a good job, then you can send them to almost anybody. But you might want to think to pair them with someone who’s a little more. Sparky. Right, much as i love mission controllers, and as i said, i’m married to one. They can be a little boring, so you have to be careful, right that you provide a little bit of spark, either by helping them find the language that will add a little sparkle, or by pairing them with someone else who will. I may be the aptly named host of this show, but i’m also shy and boring and on by self admission, shallow. So you’re listening to a shallow charlie boring. No don’t know thiss around. No, no, no it’s, not terrible at all. It’s fun, but what the pairing is important. It sze, great introspection. We’re going to take a break, a few messages, and when we return, it’s, time for tony’s, take too shallow onboarding on dh. Then, of course, andreas stays with me for the rest of the hour, and i hope you do, too. You’re listening to the talking alternative network. Kayman are you feeling overwhelmed in the current chaos of our changing times? A deeper understanding of authentic astrology can uncover solutions in every area of life. After all, metaphysics is just quantum physics. Politically expressed buy-in, montgomery, taylor and i offer lectures, seminars and private consultations. For more information, contact me at monte m o nt y at r l j media. Dot com are you stuck in your business or career trying to take your business to the next level, and it keeps hitting a wall? This is sam liebowitz, the conscious consultant. I will help you get to the root cause of your abundance issues and help move you forward in your life. Call me now and let’s. Create the future you dream of. Two, one, two, seven, two, one, eight, one, eight, three, that’s to one to seven to one, eight one eight three. The conscious consultant helping conscious people. Be better business people. Hey, all you crazy listeners looking to boost your business? Why not advertise on talking alternative with very reasonable rates? Interested simply email at info at talking alternative dot com welcome back, it’s time now for tony’s, take two at roughly thirty two minutes after the hour. My block post this week is next-gen charity will provoke your greatness. I would love to see you come to the next-gen charity conference, which is on november seventeenth and eighteenth here in new york city two weeks ago, i had the conference co founder jonah helper on this show that was the october twenty first show they are bringing in speakers the likes of craig newmark, the founder of craigslist, sharing his insights for for non-profits my show is a media sponsor, that means i’ll be backstage interviewing speakers as they as they come off stage for later replay on the show. But if you want to go to the conference and see all the speakers because i won’t be able to interview them all, you can save three hundred dollars off the six hundred fifty dollars registration fee using discount code tony radio you can see out on my block at m p g a d v dot com or you can go to next-gen charity dot com and use that discount code tony radio to save three hundred dollars, and i want to send a shout and the thanks. Last week’s block post was let’s help kelly for pete’s sake. A solo fundraiser named kelly asked a question in a linked in group and it was a very good question. Very simple question, but none of the forty five thousand members of that group had an answer. And it would be indiscreet of me to say the name of the group maja link. So it was a very common question. She asked the small. She came from a small shop and she asked, basically, how should i spend my time? And none of the forty five thousand people in motion link had an answer for her, so i blogged about it and about a dozen people little more than a dozen people stepped up and i want to thank you very much for doing that. The post is called let’s help kelly for pete’s sake. You can see the dozen people who commented and there’s also a very heartfelt and thoughtful thanks from kelly thanking everybody for their suggestions. And i thank you also for stepping up and helping kelly and the tens of thousands of small shop fundraisers just like her, that is tony’s. Take two for friday, november fourth. And we’re continuing, of course, to talk about assessing your asking style with andrea kill stead, the cofounder of asking matters. Dot com andrea. Okay, so now i was joking a little about, you know, being boring and shy. And then i added shallow, but but these are not just in case anybody doesn’t get my sense of humor. These air not negative lessons that were supposed to be taking from from what are asking style is is that right, andrea? I’m giving you a chance. Andrea. Thank you. Recover. Yes, i recover. I was i was saying to tony during during the break that i that i really think that the power of the asking stiles is that it puts in a very positive way how each of these four styles can be effective and are effective. So so i think, it’s important that we understand that that mission controllers are fantastic because there’s so responsible they really gather the information. They have it for people. They share it with donors there. They fantastic, for example, for foundation or corporate donors that want all of the detailed information. And material right? You can’t get better solicitors than that kindred spirits because they’re so heartfelt because they really care about what they’re asking for, and if they do it authentically take you know you don’t get better solicitors than that either each of these styles has something powerful to offer, and i just want to make sure that that your humor doesn’t let doesn’t make people think that any of the styles has something wrong with him. The whole purpose of this is to say, we have a much broader group of people who can effectively solicit gif ts and if we engage them in doing that, if we get out the door more, if we get out and ask more, we will yes raise more money. That’s where the rubber meets the road is our our ability or inability to get out and asked people fit for gift face-to-face and the asking style system is just a system to help us do more of that. You know, i feel very strongly my co founder and asking matters, brian saber and i both feel very strongly that that’s the limiter for most of us and most organizations and s in raising money that we don’t get ourselves out the door and asking if you’ve done any capital campaign work ever, you know that that’s why capital campaigns raise much more money because they get people out the door to ask, so look at the askanase thou assessment from that perspective, it’s a motivator to help people understand the way the toe ask that will suit them best, and to help staff members look at people in that light and get them to get out their support them properly. And it’s fun and it’s fun. It’s just a couple minutes i said, i did it myself. Of course it is fun. How about in pairings? We’ve mentioned that we’ve we’ve touched on this, but we haven’t actually talked about pairing solicitors based on their asking. Stiles what? What are the combinations that work well or don’t work well, yes, yes. So if you look at the little box that you might have drawn at your desk earlier, as i was describing the two axes, the pairing works best diagonally. So if you combine a go getter and mission controller, for example, then you have all four quadrants covered all four. All for access points covered. If you pair a rainmaker and a kindred spirit, you have all four access points covered. Now i should say that that that it is my belief that the people people work together most easily in in quadrants that air next to one another. They tend to get married for took in quadrants that air diagonally across from one another. And and i think actually it tends to sometimes you can even pair a pair a donor and someone who is who is diagonally opposed to them, because one will sparked the other. So, for example, a go getter will light may light up a mission controller as long as you have someone to bring the additional material. And the other padron works that way as well. You have a whole revenue stream here. Matchmaking, matchmaking t this should be turned into a metric. We have a show on kruckel turn of about matchmaking we should be so you said you married people tend to marry diagonally. Agonal? Yes, yes, but but but they tend to work most easily when they’re when they’re in the jason and adjacent quadrants. My belief is that the more you talk about the different styles and the more you come to appreciate and understand the styles of your co workers or yours spouse or your partner, the easier it is for us to get together and appreciate the qualities of the contrary. Styles raise more money. Find your life partner that’s what i’m asking that’s, right? Yes, i have a whole another career ahead of me. And you said that people work work well together when they’re paired next to sit next to you. Is that risk? That’s? Right? That’s, right. Working meeting in the office? Yes. People who are intuitive, for example, tend to find it easier to deal with one another. Then they do with someone who’s always act, asking them for the facts, the facts, the facts just the fax, ma’am, right? Those of us who are intuitive tend to get frustrated with that. Those people who are fact space tend to get frustrated with those of us who are good at generating ideas. So if we can again raise that up, raise that conflict up, sort of begin to understand that both are important and that we both bring something valuable to the table. We’ll be able to get along a little more better a little more better. We’ll be able get along a little better. So does this then have implications for the prospect assignment process in deciding not not was goingto prepare first of station but who’s going to be the primary relationship manager for a proper yes, yes, i think it actually does. I think once you get to know a prospect fairly well, it makes some sense to assign someone of us of a similar style to make sure that that prospect gets the information they need in the way in which they take it in most easily. So i think i think yes, as we get to know our prospects, we should have something that indicates in their file what we think they’re style is in fact, i’ve often thought that some of the donor software, if i get if i get sophisticated enough about this business would be nice is some of the donor software programs provided an opportunity to put asking styles and donor styles in that in that material? We don’t have it yet, but it would be a good thing to do. Is it possible, teo? Figure out for someone like me who has to style that came out equally whether one is dominant over the other or no. Yes, i’m glad you raised that when someone takes the asking style assessment online, some people get back a primary and a secondary style some people get back. Equivalence is what happens behind the scenes for that assessment is that we get four numerical scores and the results are based on the numerical scores, so sometimes people come out equal in two scores, as you have mostly we come out with a primary score in a secondary score, and in fact, all of us have a little of each of those styles in us, right? Very few of us or one or the other, though occasionally some of us are are stronger, you know, and have more flip, more fluid ity than than others do. I think on thee asking matters website, you can actually see there were see the write ups of all four styles and somebody could even come to the website and just play with putting different answers in and see what? See what comes up. You could try to be a rain maker. If you want to be a go getter, tony, you can actually plug in all the answers that you think would lead you there and you’ll probably get a go getter. Go get her profile back. Okay? And i answered honestly, the first that’s, right? And i encourage people to do that. But people could also play with it a little something with that, um, and let’s talk about making the case for giving or, you know, yes. Whether i mean, charities typically have a case statement or something, but but in terms of how different style person is goingto make the case to that prospect, how does that very yes. You see, i found that very interesting, really. In organizations, we tend to want to make a case or have an elevator pitch. My belief is that when out of different styles, we think about it differently, we do it differently. We communicate differently. So i think it works wonderfully, actually, to have everybody in a group take, they ask, is that assessment? And then do is cem exercise is getting people to say, well, how would you make how what would your elevator speech sound like? Right in? A room have the mission controllers come up with their elevator speech? Have the rainmakers come up with their elevator speech? They’re going to do it quite differently, right? Mission controller is going to start with details and with outcomes the go getters going to start with, you know, if we do, if we work on this problem, we will change the world in that way, right? Where mission control is not going to think that way. They’re going to think from a detail up to a big picture the people who are into it, if we’re going to think from a big picture down to the detail. So i think these air one it’s wonderful opportunities for exercises to help people come up with thie elevator speech, the case for your organization that comes out of someone most naturally, most comfortably, that sets them up for going and talking to a donor in a way that’s going to feel right to them that leads me to think about then, finally, on this subject, the pairing of solicitors should they repaired in good work teams so that they’re in the quadrants that are next to each other? Is that yes. I would probably pair solicitors diagonally, and in doing that, my one, my one worry always about having two or more people. So is it a gift is that we tend to work on what we’re going to say, so we tend to take all of the air time. If you have two people soliciting a gift, i encourage you to send two people by all means pear diagonally if you can, across the asking styles. But be sure that you leave enough opportunity for questions to get the donor talking, rather than just having the solicitor phil all the time. We have some messages to share with you, and then after that break, andre will stay with me, and we’re gonna have a chance to talk about her most recent book, which is how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps. And i hope you’ll stay with us talking alternative radio twenty four hours a day. Hi, i’m carol ward from the body mind wellness program. Listen to my show for ideas and information to help you live a healthier life in body, mind and spirit, you’ll hear from terrific guests who are experts in the areas of health, wellness and creativity. So join me every thursday at eleven a, m eastern standard time on talking alternative dot com professionals serving community. This is tony martignetti aptly named host of tony martignetti non-profit radio. Big non-profit ideas for the other ninety five percent technology fund-raising compliance, social media, small and medium non-profits have needs in all these areas. My guests are expert in all these areas and mohr. Tony martignetti non-profit radio fridays one to two eastern on talking alternative broadcasting are you concerned about the future of your business for career? Would you like it all to just be better? Well, the way to do that is to better communication. And the best way to do that is training from the team at improving communications. This is larry sharp, host of the ivory tower radio program and director at improving communications. Does your office need better leadership? Customer service sales or maybe better writing are speaking skills? Could they be better at dealing with confrontation conflicts, touchy subjects all are covered here at improving communications. If you’re in the new york city area, stop by one of our public classics or get your human resource is in touch with us. The website is improving communications, dot com that’s improving communications, dot com improve your professional environment. Be more effective, be happier. And make more money. Improving communications. That’s. The answer. Talking all calm. Lively conversation. Top trends, sound advice, that’s. Tony martignetti, yeah, that’s. Tony martignetti non-profit radio. And i’m travis frazier from united way of new york city, and i’m michelle walls from the us fund for unicef. Durney welcome back, andrea, kill stead and i are talking about assessing your asking style, and i want to make it clear that in order to do that, to assess your asking style, you go to asking matters dot com and it’s it’s all free and available to everyone as a resource to figure out what style you are. We’ll have a chance now to talk about andrea’s second book um, how to raise one million dollars or more in ten bite-sized steps now, this is a smaller version, a condensed version of your first book, right? Yes, or at least it’s, a story’s based version, if you if you will. I was a capital campaign consultant for a great many years and wrote a fairly good sized book on capital campaign fund-raising this is a a ten chapter little chapter book that tells stories about campaigns that that makes clear some of the primary lessons that we need to know if we’re going to raise major gift money. And is your message in using stories that charity that charities should be telling stories themselves in their fund-raising, you know, charity certainly should be telling stories themselves, but if they wanted to have a book like this to give to their board, for example, they’re doing some major fund-raising and want every boardmember teo teo, learn a little more about how to raise money through major gif ts this would be the kind of kind of book you could. You could do that with it’s, a quick read it’s, about forty five fifty minute reed it’s engaging because it tells tales, interesting stories about real people who raised really money and, you know, had various interesting things happen to them through campaigns, but do you like to see charities using their own story? I did, and they’re fund-raising absolutely, yes. I like to see people using stories all over the place we all know there much more interesting than mohr, dry factual information, graphs and charts. A good story has delicate mission controllers like grass and charts, i have to say, but but they like stories, too. Early on in the book you you recommend you actually say it’s pretty important to approach different people in different ways regarding the exact same funding opportunities. How do we do that? Yes, i think that’s a chapter on goose bumps if i the idea really is that we wanted twice in one show, you said the word goose princessa combination ation. I’ve never i’ve been doing this for a year and a half. I don’t think we’ve ever used with everest twice in one show it now it’s overdone. Now, it’s, i won’t mention it again, but but i have to say, if you do have a visceral response, something moves you, then you’re more much more likely to respond to it generously. Now how we’re going to figure out how somebody is going to respond. How sorry, how different people are going to respond to the exact same funding. Yes, there’s a very simple answer to that, and that has asked them. You know what? We’ll find nothing like asking people what in their life overlaps with what you’re doing. Why might they be interested in in the cause of your organization? Does something in their history to something in their current interest, this does something connect with him and you’ll find many, many people have different ways of thinking about her looking at things. So, for example, the story that i use in the in the book is a story of a science center. Yeah, the lancaster, pennsylvania, and the person who founded the center had had some personal experience with dyslexia, and he’d like to hands on on learning because that’s, the way he learned best when he talked to the person who was in the foundation who was controlled sameh germany in the foundation, that person couldn’t care less about dyslexia. That person was interested in bringing tourists to lancaster, pennsylvania. He had a serious interest in doing that. So when when when the founder, jim, started talking about tourism and about how many people would come in the door and what would happen to the downtown if they had an organization like that and down down all of a sudden he found a different kind of response. So of course we need to understand the breadth of responses that we can get for our projects, not just the ones that happened to appeal to. Us. Sometimes we forget how broadly something can can have. Tentacles can have reach your your advice is different than ah, a variation of yeah, of other advice that guests have given, which is you’re saying toe ask the person what? What in your life overlaps with our work. And what i’ve heard in the past is asking, what about our work moves you those are different. Yes, they are different, i think exploring the overlap between the person’s life outside the charity that sir and the charities that’s, right? See, i think my belief is that we spend much too much time talking about our charity and much too little time exploring what turns on a donor, whether it’s, a foundation donor and individual. So i think we need to shift the balance of that right. Instead of spending seventy percent of the time talking telling about us, i think we need to spend at least sixty percent of the time asking about them and there’s that listening and there’s. That listening listener, yes. And listening is tremendously powerful. I recently was talking to someone who solicits gif ts for hot for a hospital. She said, you know, i have a problem with doctors? I have thirty minutes to go in solicited doctor and i spend thirty minutes talking to the doctor and i don’t have really have time to get to get to my pitch. My advice to her was don’t make your pitch spend spend the first fifteen minutes asking the doctor what he’s interested in, and you know what? He’ll end up giving you sixty minutes instead of thirty minutes because you’re interested in him. So let’s begin with a serious interest, a curiosity about our donors, then we can turn translate that into where, where the intersections are in interests between them and our organization, and that is actually very consistent with advice that other guests have given listening, giving, giving time for the donor to speak and for us to be actively listening to right what they’re saying, i think curiosity really is what is what makes us all good at this business? Okay, excellent, which actually leads to something that i saw lana twitter fundchat last month you and i were both on ah a twitter twitter chat called fundchat and you can follow it using hashtag fundchat and someone posted that in preparing for on and ask if they want to put on their game face and you suggested no. Rather why don’t you wear that? You prefer that you prefer to be vulnerable and be curious about the prospect? Yes, well, i find i find that that if someone is genuinely curious about me, i am much more available to them. And i imagine you would find the same thing that if someone really wants to know who you are, what interests you, how we might connect, they’re likely then they start moving towards you as opposed to giving them a wall. What i think of is a wall of words if i tell them about me and make them find the intersection, they’re much less likely to really to really listen and be willing to be vulnerable. That’s, right? And for anyone who’s interested invulnerability? Check out brain a browns ted talk b r e n e brown. She has a fantastic she’s, a researcher on vulnerability. Fantastic ted talk, andrea kill state is a consultant, writer and trainer and fund-raising the cofounder of asking matters dot com, where you can take the assessment and figure out what you’re asking. Style is, and she has written two books on fund-raising andrea, thank you very much for being a guest. Thank you, tony it’s a pleasure to be with you today. Thank you, it’s my pleasure as well. Next week, rachel emma silverman, reporter for the wall street journal and she writes for the journal’s, blogged the juggle, how can you balance work and life in today’s environment? I’m going to talk about that with rachel emma silverman next week with the two of those things work and personal life competing for your time. Also, maria semple are regular prospect research contributor she going to talk about a new linked in feature next week? The volunteer section it has research potential and gives you greater exposure on the on that popular site, and they also have joe ferraro. Next week, the association of fund-raising professionals, westchester county chapter in new york he’s going to talk about their national philanthropy day coming up, keep up with what’s coming up! Sign up for our insider email alerts on the facebook page when i get my banana bread, i’m gonna post that to the facebook page. You’re gonna want to know about that how? Can you live without knowing that especially leading into the weekend? Did you like today’s show, please click the like button, become a fan of the show. Of course you find us at facebook dot com and then the name of this show you listen live or archive you’ve been listening live archive! Find us on art on itunes and you’ll find our itunes paige. If you go to non-profit radio dot net on twitter, you can follow me. The show’s hashtag is non-profit radio used that often our creative producer is claire meyerhoff, our line producer and the owner of talking alternative broadcasting his sam liebowitz. Our social media is by regina walton of organic social media, but today’s live tweeting was by ian, a dare in thank you very much for filling in doing that, i’m tony martignetti this is tony martignetti non-profit radio. 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